Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Why Me

Trace Balin is a Christian singer and she wrote and sang a song in 1989 called “Why Me.” I was reflecting on that song and wondered why the Lord would indeed choose to watch over, bless and save me. I’ve done nothing to deserve that. I’m average and the Book of Revelations says, “ I wish you were either hot or cold but you are not. You are lukewarm and therefore I vomit you from my mouth.” I’ve prayed a lot of words about my desire to do better and to please God. I’ve talked, written and sung about it. But the truth is I’ve lived an adequate life only. I’m not the saint I wanted to be. I haven’t saved hundreds of souls. I can’t even keep 10 Commandments. I’ve begged for forgiveness and promised the Lord I’ll try harder – which I do temporarily. But over time He can’t count on my. I’ll return to average. My life is about me and my schedule and my needs rather than living a life of reflective gratitude. And I do that over and over again. So the question remains. Why me?
I’m old enough now to know that the answer has nothing to do with me. It’s all about you, Jesus. 1Cor 13 says God is Love. You can’t be resentful or angry with me. I know you are a just God and you expect back the fruits of the seeds you’ve sown in me and everyone else. I know I’m only a tenant on this earth. You are the Owner and Creator of it all.
But I know b/c of the way your eyes beheld the widow who gave her last dime that you are Love. I know b/c you cried when your friend Lazarus died. I know b/c you lived with and helped your Mother Mary for 30 years before your public ministry. I also know you are kind and merciful b/c of my own life experiences. When I was very sick you provided the right doctors. When I lost my job You provided the contacts to get me a new one. When I attend Mass you more than generously share Your Body and Blood to feed me.
So I don’t need to focus on the question Why Me. I only need to focus on and praise you for the answer~ God Is Love.

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