Tuesday, February 19, 2013

...and I don't like your hair-do!

If “where there is peace there is God” then where there is no peace there is the absence of God or the presence of evil. If peace is valuable to me I’ll choose it as my goal even in the midst of chaos and negativity. I will choose to be where God is in situations of stress or illness or financial pressure. I will MAKE my mind be still and non-reactive so as to see the issue or event with God’s eyes. Since I am made in God’s image and likeness it is possible. I received the Holy Spirit and Christ’s actual body in the Eucharist so it is possible for me to swallow my instinctive non peaceful reaction in order to act more like Jesus.

In my professional life I’ve been rejected and in my personal life too. Someone betrayed a confidence. Someone doesn’t like my way of doing things. Rejection doesn’t come naturally. It’s a blow to the ego. Instinctively my insides begin to churn and my blood pressure goes up. Instinctively –almost without any thought process involved- I become defensive or angry. I immediately look at the person differently, i.e. with judgment. Inside I’m saying “Oh yeah? Well I thought there was something I didn’t like about you. And, by the way, I can’t stand the way you do your hair.” Red flags are waving and if the person persists or says something that hits me to the core, bombs go off in my brain.


Is all that from God?

Did the red flags, bad hair comment or exploding bombs come from Jesus Christ? Did God initiate the judgmental thoughts or the defensive reaction? Of course not! Where there is peace, there is God. My really, really hard challenge is to feel my own rising blood pressure and lower it. I don’t have to be that person. I’ve got the Holy Spirit’s guidance and I don’t want to ignore that. I received Eucharist. I have God’s grace. I am made in His likeness. And THIS time is going to be different. THIS time I’m not going to be that defensive person.

While my BP is rising – or if I’ve already failed and given in – I imagine myself on old planet Pluto and watching all this from afar. (Pluto= the rejected planet). Maybe I’ll even hide myself behind my guardian angel’s fluffy wings. I imagine myself physically uninvolved. The person’s lips are moving and the tension is high but I choose not to be there. Let them keep the judgments and words of anger. I just don’t want them. They aren’t God’s so I’m not participating in the process. I take a breath, step back and remove my feelings from the situation.

This is much easier to do in a non-confrontational situation. Those type situations are good for practicing. Anytime of the day I can put myself on un-planet Pluto and observe. I can search out God’s actions in my day from behind fluffy wings, while I take a deep breath. The more I practice the more peace I feel.

Where there is peace there is God. That’s what I want.