change involves risk

As an infant we crawled and something inside challenged us to stand and to walk. A risk for sure but one which benefited us as we literally stepped into the unknown. No one guaranteed there’d be no falls. And those falls hurt- stunned us. Yet, in our innocence we took the risk again and again until the unknown became the familiar. The change brought us into a new vision of the world which we enjoyed.

Now, many years later Jesus challenges us to spiritual growth. But years of falling and getting hurt remind us of the pain involved with change. We don’t hear Jesus’ instructions or we thing the message was made up in our own minds and so not to be trusted.

I’ve also noticed how much of a creature of habit I am. I repeat the same behaviors simply because they’ve become my pattern. Before time for thought even seems to go by I’ve repeated my usual action or response. Only afterwards does the regret come. Like St. Paul, “I do the very things I hate.”

Jesus please help me to change my behaviors before I do or say them. I don’t need or want to gossip or complain but I do. I don’t mean to be impatient, but I surely am. I don’t want to do the right things. I want to be the right person – the one you created me to be.