Catholic Spirituality

Exposition of Blessed Sacrament: Is that YOU, God?

2012-02-06T14:21:00.002-05:00

As Catholics I think we seem tohave lost the sense of awesomeness of Jesus’ presence in the monstrance and perhapsin Eucharist. Weekly we watch the priestand the Eucharistic Minister evenly distribute the consecrated hosts among allthe chalices. It appears to be a rathermundane task. A host may fall to the altar and the priest puts it into one ofthe waiting chalices. The wine is poured,hopefully not too much so that it has to be consumed in a large gulp by one ofthe attendants later, but enough to be distributed to anyone who wishes topartake of the Precious Blood. Alongwith the repetition of a weekly (or more) activity, these ordinary tasksrelegate the extra- ordinary to a mundane level as the church bodyobserves. So during the Exposition of the BlessedSacrament altho what we see in the encasement surrounded by a solid gold designmay not be fully appreciated, it IS the Body of Christ.

Centuries ago when saints andheroes died the relics were divided, including body parts. We may find this practice distasteful in 2012but it was done. At the Last SupperJesus made the bread and wine become his Precious Body and Blood. But imagine for a moment that he hadn’t usedthose simple forms. We’ve seen and heardof 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd class relics. They are pieces of the saints’ skin, theirclothing or maybe something that was touched to the saints’ clothing that isconsidered a valued object. I wasrecently given (and treasure) earth from Saint Thérèse of Lisieux’s 1^stburial exhumation on 9-6-1910.

So how might we react if the next time weattend Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament there was a lock of Jesus’ actualhair or a piece of bone or skin in the monstrance? What if the golden monstrance contained a splinterof wood from Jesus’ own cross that had been covered with Our Lord’s blood? It is theBody of Christ. Smooth white round waferor not.

We're square pegs in round holes

2012-02-01T09:32:00.000-05:00

That's why we don't fit in this world!

Jesus, you are right! We don't fit here. Like square pegs in round holes we never will fit. I always thought I wanted to fit so I tried hard to do that. I wanted to feel comfortable on this earth. I don't and I won't so I give up the struggle. I surrender. Empty is a much more peaceful place to be. Jn 17:6-19

Be Still

2012-01-22T19:40:00.000-05:00

In a world filled with weapons of mass destrAction, silence is a radical response.

Fullness of joy does not equal fullness of schedule.

The mute language of prayer is listening to God.

If God is the one chasing, then I want him to catch me. After all, to whom else should we go?

At Jesus' baptism by John and at the top of the mount of Transfiguration God the Father gave us only one instruction, " Listen to him."

from a great video called Be Still and Know That I Am God Ps 46:10 by www.foxfaith.com

Choose YOUR saint for 2012

2012-01-01T20:11:00.002-05:00

go to acatholiclife.blogspot.com

Mine is St. Gertrude Cemensoli, an Italian. She had tremendous devotion to the Eucharist. Her favorite saying is 'Jesus, loving you and making others love you." not TOO tough of an act to follow, right?

Geltrude Comensoli (1847-1903)

The Annual Question on the Manger Scene

2011-12-02T15:50:00.001-05:00

The annual manger scene question is who or what would you be in the scene this year? I’ve been the hay and the donkey and this year I should be the star. It’s a very uncomfortable position and very humbling. But a star needs only do what it is meant to do, what it was designed for and nothing more. In so doing the shining star draws attention so that others observe and want to follow the path it displays. It doesn’t matter to the star if some reject its importance. It shines anyway. The sparkle is not dependent on acceptance from others because it shines for everyone. This star’s only need is to stay near to Jesus. Otherwise it would be like every other star leading others only to itself. People walk toward this star but the closer they get to the end of the path the less they see the actual star and the smaller the star appears. No one arrives at the manger scene in Bethlehem and says, “What a magnificent star!” It is ignored save for those still far away, still searching, still following. The star has served its purpose in pointing others to Jesus. Have I?

Why do i yell at the storm?

2011-11-05T19:58:00.003-04:00

Calming of the Storm Mark 4:35-41

The waves started breakingagainst the boat so that it was almost swamped. But Jesus’ head was on the cushion asleep. They woke him and said, “Don’t you care?” He said to the wind and sea,” Quiet. Be calm.” Then he said to them, “Why are you so frightened? Don’t you have faith?”

God is not in the frenzy. In Matthew’s version (8:23) the storm came without warning. It became an actual and real, not imagined,problem. In Luke’s version (8:22) theboat started taking in water and they found themselves in danger.

Several guys in a boat crossingthe lake to the other side. Quickly andsuddenly a storm comes an begins to fill their boat with water. Panic sets in as they fear for their ownsafety.

The apostles felt that Jesusdidn’t care about them. In the midst ofthe storm they were scared. They hadreason to be- the storm had come without warning. The boat was taking in water so that theywere actually in danger.

Been there. Done that.

Living life according to theusual routine when all of a sudden I get a phone call that someone I love is inserious trouble. I try to fix theproblem and/or support the person. Butthe problem doesn’t go away. OR theperson doesn’t like the way I tried to help. OR I doubt I can help at all and freeze in the tracks. Pick one. It doesn’t really matter which one. I begin to panic and worry. Thatcertainly doesn’t help person’s situation or me. Nothing is improving. Things actually seem worse. Coming up empty I ask friends for their ideasand support. Some produce temporarysolutions. After that my quieted panicand fea resurface. Then I may turn intoa Job opposite. Instead of trusting Godthru every ordeal I become frustrated, frenzied, depressed or angry. But being angry at the raging sea that isfilling up the little boat of mty life isn’t a very successful manewver. Even the apostles didn’t try that one. They just woke Jesus up and complained to him

Duh.

The moral of the story is trustGod even tho you may be in real danger. Yelling at the storm isn’t very productive.

Who wants to party with Jesus?

2011-09-28T19:56:00.001-04:00

In the previous post I talked about Luke 14: 15-24 and said I was too busy to hang out with Jesus. This is a continuation of that story.

But the decorations are still hanging and the food is all prepared. The table is set with his personalized touch. So Jesus searches the area to find someone who doesn't feel the need to punish themselves with negative self images or to protect their own positive self image. He finds someone who is comfortable with being poor and ordinary. It's a simple human being who kind of resembles Jesus actually. This person is hungry but also ready to listen and rest. And that's exactly when the celebration gets started.

After my very busy day I return home a little disappointed. I expected to feel comfort in the fact that I was as productive as I could possibly have been. I worked hard and gave my all, never wasting a moment. Instead, while returning home I wondered if I made the right choices and implemented the decisions well. I didn't feel comfort with giving my all. I felt anxious. I began to judge my behaviours and worried if they were as selflessly motivated as I thought they were.

While in the midst of this analysis I arrive home where Jesus had been all day enjoying the party with several others. The old Martha/Mary Bible story runs thru my mind and I think, "Well just look at them! Resting and eating and laughing while I was out there working hard all day." But of course I remember that I was invited to be here too.It's no wonder they are all enjoying themselves; Jesus is with them. He is feeding them, filling up their minds and their bodies. He is paying attention to each of them so each one feels special to him. Releasing my burdens with a deep, deep sigh I make my way to the table where Jesus sees me. He smiles.

too busy to hang out with Jesus

2011-09-18T17:15:00.002-04:00

Luke 14:15-24
So I would have been one of the guests invited to a party Jesus was having. I am an invited guest! It's bound to be a great party! When Jesus has everything prepared and asks me to come I say- " I have some things to do for my family and then I'll be right there." Jesus replies, "But the banquet is ready now. And I'd really like you to come. That's why I invited you. Everything has been prepared for you."
So I say, "I'm sorry but I'm distracted and very busy. See, what I'm doing here for you? " or
"See my imperfections? I have to work on getting them corrected before I can go to your party. Gotta run. " So my Lord watches me walk away from him so that I can continue my journey~

to one day feel worthy enough to be in his presence
to use up all the talents God gave me so I can rest with a clear conscience one day in his presence
to do something beautiful enough to make him proud of me

He hears me say, "Talk to you later. Maybe I'll text you" as I quicken my pace and run ahead.

Alone, Jesus says aloud, "But I've been looking forward to this and preparing everything for a long time so it would be great." Sadly he says good bye to his hope for this special celebration we were to have together and accepts my choices, my decision to go another way.

in all things "Give Thanks! "

2011-09-01T11:50:00.000-04:00

1st Thes: “Comfort the frightened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Don’t repay evil with evil but always do good. Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.”

Corrie Ten Boom’s (author of The Hiding Place) whole family died during the World War including her sister who was her companion in the concentration camp. But Betsie never ceased to thank God “in all circumstances”. The fact that the barracks were filled with fleas and live meant no soldiers would enter into it. That allowed them to read the Gospels aloud and to pray. Betsie saw everything as a gift from God and prayed for their persecutors until she died there.

For what should I be thankful today?

I'm just a beautiful mess!

2011-08-20T21:22:00.001-04:00

(“Better Than An Hallelujah” http://www.amygrant.com/)

I try really hard but fail really big.

I want to please God but I’m selfish.

Integrity and honesty are the values I hold most dear but the person I am
is not the person I was meant to be.

I pray but some might call me hypocritical.

My greatest wish is never to give bad example as a follower of Christ
but I do the very things that I hate.

You might call me a mess, but to my God, I am a ‘beautiful mess’. He died for this beautiful mess that I am. Jesus looks at me like a mom who has just received a scribbled drawing from her child. A stranger might say, “what in the world is that?” But the mom believes it is beautiful and proudly puts the drawing on the fridge with a smile. Only God sees my heart. He knows my sins and , with a smile, loves me deeply despite them.

I love you God! I’ll try harder to make my life a better drawing for your fridge.

Profound Sadness and the Presence of God

2011-07-22T19:55:00.000-04:00

Sometimes pain distracts us from being able to see God and talk with him. It depresses and angers us so that all we can do is endure it. But not Jesus. It’s like when a mom sits on the edge of her child’s bed if he has a very high fever or an unexplained illness. She’s there watching every breath, every movement. She’s attentive to the nuances and the slight attempt at a smile or a moan. She comforts the sick child in any way at all possible. She calls the doctor, tries to distract the child, feeds him, wipes his brow, and kisses his forehead. She’ll do anything to bring peace, comfort and reassurance to her son. The child doesn’t realize how tortured his mom feels at his pain. He may not realize it at all or until he becomes a father himself. All he knows is what he’s feeling. And all he wonders is “when will it be over?” Mom is far more in tune with her son during a time like this than when he is going about his life, playing with friends and laughing. THAT is the life she wants to be his normal. Illness and sadness is not.

It’s the same with God, I believe. When I’ve been in severe pain it absorbed me. I couldn’t see the world clearly and didn’t really grasp all the things going on around me. I didn’t want to get too involved in anything else in life because I was too tired. Pain is exhausting. Like physical pain, emotional pain seemed to pound away at my heart until it felt heavy and swollen. Everything took too much energy and I just didn’t care anymore.

Have you been there?

In retrospect I know God was hovering like a worried mom. He had been there himself. No one was there for him during the agony, as he was scourged or when he was condemned to death. He even felt alone and cried out as he died on the cross. “My God, why have you forsaken me?” He’d never let that happen to someone he loves and calls his own. NEVER. “I have carved you into the palm of my hand.” We cannot be separated. So even tho I may be feeling a profound sadness and emptiness, I am not alone. Pain clouds my eyes so I can’t see, my brain so that it doesn’t think clearly, and my heart which no longer seems to be able to feel anything - at least not anything good.

carved into the palms of my hands

But thru it all God is like the attentive mom. I may not have been able to see him next to me but God was there. “Nothing can separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus.” His heart ached when mine did. His tears joined mine. His eyes never left me. God noticed every nuance of movement. When I could be angry he absorbed it. When I felt abandoned in my own black world I’d get a phone call, a card or even an acquaintance with a special message meant for me. Maybe I got a referral to just the right doctor or medication. Or a sermon or a song that was able to penetrate thru the pain. It may have been the briefest of moments but it was undeniably there. At the moment I never realized what was happening because I couldn’t see the big picture. Each tiny puzzle piece of my life began to fit together again- albeit slowly, very, very, slowly. It felt like forever. The truth is I wasn’t even looking for the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I’d become content in my dark world of emptiness. But God wanted another normal for me and wouldn’t let me slip away. He was gently persistent. He was a sponge soaking up my anger and resentment. None of my words could turn him away because he knew where they came from. God was the unseen mom on the edge of the bed, always watching and listening. I couldn’t acknowledge his presence thru my pain but that didn’t send him away. If I admitted his existence at all it was in desperate pleadings for help while constantly crying. I actually begged at times. Intellectually I believed God was faithful. The Bible says so. I was taught that as a child, but it was like shadow boxing. I kept begging and hearing nothing but silence. Empty air.

I went to my prayer corner every morning and sat. Sometimes I cried without words and sometimes I yelled. But if I wanted God to heal me I knew I had to present myself to him just as I was- just like going to the doctor to be cured. But I didn’t pressure myself to pray with words. I just sat there. That was my faithfulness; it was all I could do.

I read THE SHACK and it gave me a break thru; that is, the fact that I was blind to it doesn’t mean God wasn’t sitting beside me on the edge of my bed to speak, the whole time. Even if I didn’t believe God was there it doesn’t mean that’s true. God does lots of things without my seeing or knowing it to be happening. “Even if a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you.”

I listened to music: inspirational music, Christian music. I wrote in my journal as a way to empty my heart of some of its pain. I finally wanted to be healed and slowly I was. Now, Jesus and I go thru “normal” days together and the darkness that once enveloped me is gone. It’s my own mini-resurrection really. But God and I look back on those days together and we talk about them Why? How? Will I go thru that again? Better than the answers is the intimacy between us. In my prayer times I had only sat there like a big silent lump of nothing, but I did go there every day. Empty handed and close mouthed I sat. (If you don’t go to the doctor’s office, how can he help you?) I couldn’t do or say much but I could sit there.

So as the months went by and we stared at each other something was happening.

I allowed myself to be angry at God. I presented him with my nothingness instead of avoiding him or ignoring him. I read a book and I listened to music and journalled.

God watched everything and was working behind the scenes. The right friend was at the right place at the right time. A specific song seemed to get a reaction from me so I kept playing it. God accepted my anger and gently wiped the tears away. He listened, not just to the words that began to come but to what I wasn’t even able to express deep in my heart.

And now that time of my life is over and I have a friend who endured it with me. It’s sad when God only gets to be involved in part of a life. He gave us his whole life while he was on earth. That sets the example for us. Give Him your all and He will give you his.

Standing in the Blood of Jesus

2011-07-14T19:56:00.000-04:00

Jesus, I have an image of your crucifixion. Your warm blood drips from the cross but not to the ground. Some days I stand beneath with a bowl protecting the precious blood from dripping onto the thankless ground. Some other days, depending on the depths of my feelings I kneel beside the cross collecting each drip with my cupped hands. And on very intimate occasions I allow your Precious Blood to drip directly onto my head, shoulders and body so as to be washed by your holiness. That is the purest form of humility and sorrow for sin. Your goodness, your love cleanses me. It is not something I can do myself. Your forgiveness and mercy wash away my sorrow and shame. We become one as my selfishness falls away and I become more like you.

Give me a clean heart, O God. Wash away my sins. Pour over me the oil of gladness.

We have all sinned and are justified freely thru the Redemption that came by Jesus.

So now that I have been washed and purified I can say with Paul “I no longer live but Christ lives in me.”

Spiritual Sayings That Make You Go “Hmmmm”…(2)

2011-07-03T12:55:00.002-04:00

1. Paul was a contemplative. Prayer for him was reporting for orders on where to go, how long to stay there, what to do and what to say.                                  (2 Cor 2 and Contact With God by Anthony DeMello, S.J. ) sounds like a good idea to me.

2. Integrity is being the person you are meant to be- not the person you'd like to be or the person you believe you are. To be a person of integrity you must be true to being the
person God created you to be. And you must be the same person if anyone or no one is watching. If each of us lived that virtue always and in all ways we could change the world.                   (Jesus, CEO by Laura Beth Jones) wow- tough one!

3. I am always aware of my own poverty and my needs before God. I have to ask for everything and God always answers prayer. My life, therefore, should be one of gratitude.     (Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton)

4. In the end we will all be left speechless.                              (Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton)

5..  I am accepted by God as I am and not as I should be.                  (Bread That Is Broken) thank you Jesus!

Spiritual Sayings That Make You Go “Hmmmm”…

2011-06-23T20:06:00.000-04:00

1. People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness but they choose not to live in it. –Nouwen

2. God never lets you down when your expectations of him are high. But he may keep you waiting.
De Mello S.J.

3. (one of my favorites) Just keep rattling your begging bowl and sit like a begger when you go in God’s presence tomorrow or until he fills it. Refuse to take No or Later for an answer. De Mello

4. If we actually lived the radical Gospel driven life style we’d be in desperate need of prayer.
Bread That Is Broken

5. Peace of mind isn’t weakness. It can only stay in a strong person. But the strength does not come from self control but from allowing God control. Bread That Is Broken

How Much Does God Love Me?

2011-06-11T20:57:00.000-04:00

The Father and the Son only had two moments of contact; one at the baptism in the River Jordan and the other at the Transfiguration. “This is my Son who pleases me. Listen to him.” And the agony in the garden? Jesus did it for love of us, yes, but “for all the love he had for us he recoiled from the passion; Jesus did not want it. The only thing that made him go thru it was the Father.” (DeMello) But our Father offered no interventions that rescued Jesus. Jesus was abandoned, tortured, and cried in the garden and on the cross while the Father was silent. He shouted out his feelings of abandonment but the Father was silent. The Father did not interrupt or modify the Son’s mission in order to alleviate his pain - actually the pain they were both feeling.

The Father never rescued his Son from the physical pain the Son was going thru. He watched the soldiers scourge Jesus and crown him with thorns. The Father looked at the blood and the bruises. He saw the apostles disperse, leaving his Son alone. If that was my only child I couldn’t have done it. I know parents who rescue their kids from much less - being bullied by kids at school, an unfair grade on a paper, drugs. But God watched Jesus go thru all that alone. Sometimes it’s harder to helplessly watch as your loved one endures an emotional crises or disease or financial turmoil. If you can’t fix it or protect them from it you wonder about your role as a parent. We don’t know what God was feeling as he watched his Son die. It’s reported that the sky turned dark and the curtain of the temple was torn in two. God did not stop the blood from pouring from Jesus’ side even tho he could. We humans can’t always rescue because we don’t have the cash or the cure for the disease. God did have what was needed and he could have fixed it. He didn’t. Jesus’ blood drained from his wounds as he hung on the cross and his Father mourned every precious drop. When they took his Son down from the cross God our Father saw Mary hold his body. Crying over it Mary caressed her child, touched his face and smoothed his hair. God must have been glad to see someone else love his Son so tenderly. Then they placed Jesus body in the tomb.

Throughout it all the Father never interrupted. He never implemented a plan B. He had sent his Son to be our servant and Jesus was killed. He did not stop it. WHY? The answer seems too crazy to be true. He loves us more. THEY love us more. More than the scourging, the crown of thorns and the nails. More than the Father’s emotional pain and the grief of his loss. Father and Son love us that much. They want us to be with them in heaven THAT much. I am worth that much to Someone. I am loved!

God Hugs

2011-05-14T22:15:00.000-04:00

Don't Focus on the Good or the Bad i Do but on God's Mercy and Love.

I love little innocent kids who, unknowingly, do wrong. There's no question that I'll forgive a 3 year old that breaks something, for example. My first thought probably wouldn't even be about what was broken or done wrong but about comforting the child. I could look at the child's face and see no malice, no intent to destroy only a fear of punishment. I'd want to wipe away that fear immediately! The child should be comforted not corrected. It's in the nature of a 3 year old to flounder and make mistakes. It's guidance, not blame that they need and a comforting hug.

So~ I should not beat myself up about my own weaknesses and failures rather focus on God's generous mercy. God knows me very well by now after all and as soon as I've sinned He wants to forgive and comfort me. Sometimes I'm too preoccupied with what I've done wrong to appreciate His gentle kindness. I'm beating myself up while he's trying to approach. So myself focus gets in the way and I can't appreciate His extreme generosity and understanding of who i am. Why do I look at me when I could be and should be in awe of God's pardon and looking at a loving Face?

The spirituality (?) of making cards

2011-05-05T20:06:00.000-04:00

I fancy myself as a competitor for Hallmark cards- that’s a joke! But I really do enjoy the adventure of finding paper with different textures, patterns and colors. I buy stickers (on sale of course), look thru the internet and magazines for ideas and have become proficient in applying the right kind of glue for the job at hand. I don’t want my cards to look professional. I do want the receiver to notice that tho the card in their hands is neat and clean, it is obviously hand made. Before it gets tucked into an envelope I review the card very carefully one last time. I appreciate the creativity it allowed me to cultivate and the excitement and joy it stirred up in my soul because of its uniqueness. I never reproduce the same card. For several years now I’ve made birthday, Christmas, anniversary and “thinking of you” cards for everyone I know and never repeat the pattern. The joy for me is in the design process and I get lost in it.

Perhaps that’s why I appreciate God, the Creator and Author of Life. God not only created each one of us but also transforms us and our life situations as every single day evolves. As a single prayer for help comes to his attention God intervenes and the moment is transformed. Graces are gifted, persons come into our life path, a message is emailed, a transformation occurs. God is a very, very busy artist! How many requests must be in His In Box daily?

It may take me several hours to make a single card, but God doesn’t have that luxury. We’re a very demanding bunch! Part of our need for constant help may be that we doubt the value of God’s original design- ourselves. But if I go to sooooo much trouble to find the best stickers for a birthday card, comparatively how much effort did God use to design me? I choose paper and texture. God chooses skin color and freckles. I decide on the message I want my card to give while God creates a personality. I know for certain there is no other card like the one I’ve just made. I also know there is no other ME like the one God made. I look at my hand made card with appreciation for the joy it gave me to create it. Could it e that God looked at me the same way on the day of my birth? Could I really be His work of art?

I put my little card into an envelope and send it on its way. By now my friends and family know that envelope contains a gift individually designed for them. God sent me here to NJ to bring a message of joy and love to others also. And where did He place YOU to bring the same message with your unique personality?

Of course from time to time we forget about our message/mission and we become overwhelmed or confused by life going on all around us. God doesn’t get to put away his paint box. His creations run back too Him for continuous help. “Dear Lord, I need a job! Oh God, help me with this test. Father God, give me wisdom to know what is your will.” So he looks at the Very Big Picture and creatively intervenes. Lives change. People change. Grace is at work.

All around me is beautiful evidence of God’s creative talent!

Why let Jesus come back??

2011-04-28T16:43:00.000-04:00

Jesus had a hunger to be loved according to Mother Teresa. But “He came unto his own and his own received him not.”

If I had the power to raise my Son back from the dead after having been tortured and nailed to a cross it would never occur to me in a thousand years to return him to the kind of creature who had treated him this way. (John Claypool)

That is the miracle of Easter!

How He Came Back to Life

2011-04-23T20:17:00.000-04:00

Jesus, did you just sort of “wake up” lying in that tomb? How exactly did it go?

Your eyes flutter open but your face is covered. To move that covering your hands have to reach up. But your fingers and your nose tell you other things cover your body. Instinctively you try to move your hand up toward your face to move the cloth. Now you smell the myrrh – a smell your life began with 33 years ago. Your hand moves the cloth and fragrances away from your eyes and mouth. As you do that your hand feels tightness to it and to open your palm fully requires a stretching motion. Finally you’ve cleared your face with the help of your second hand. That hand too required that you stretch your fingertips wide to relieve the tautness of the spread.

It’s dark inside the tomb so you don’t see the scars on your palms but as you begin to awaken you also begin to remember. You remember the smell of those same fragrances from your visit to Lazarus’ tomb. Your now outstretched hand brings the scene back. The darkness that covers you confirms the memory. I was dead.

As you lie there you try to collect your thoughts.

I was dead.

The nails went through these same hands. I remember the hammer coming toward my hands and feet. The memories are all rushing back now.

The spear went through my side, Jesus recalled. Instinctively he reached to touch it. A healed scar replaced the torn flesh. And as he tried to lift his head, a smile began to grow ever so slightly on one side of his mouth. I was dead.

No crown of thorns on his head now as Jesus tries to hoist his upper body into a seated position. Buds, plants and flowers all trickle and fall away and Jesus removes the cloth that had once covered his face and body.

Seated upright his eyes try to focus and he turns his head to see where they placed his once lifeless body. The tiny smile begins to broaden into a grin. “Oh Father!” He had been buried and placed in someone’s tomb. It was someone else’s tomb because Jesus never had on for himself. Did he think he’d never need one? But he didn’t have his own house, either. “The Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” (Luke 9:57-58)

“Father” Only one word. After all the experiences of the past three days the only word Jesus could bring himself to speak was “Father”. In that word alone was the full realization of what happened. The union of the two in that one word was like a meteor hitting the earth. The Father, who had been watching his Son’s body return to life as closely as he watched him be scourged, crucified and die, spoke his son’s name. “Jesus!” The strength of their love for one another was spoken in those single words. It was as though a huge surprise party was about to take place and only they knew about it. Jesus’ heart began to pound. He was suddenly anxious to remove himself from the tomb entirely. (Did Lazarus feel like this?”) He place two scarred but strong feet on the ground and reached his head and arms to heaven. He couldn’t wait to meet his beloved Father. He wanted to hug him, give his Abba a big, hearty pat on the back and say, “We did it! It’s done!” Instinctively he knew that would have to wait.

He looked for the entrance to the place where he had lain. Feeling around the walls which surrounded him, Jesus came upon the big stone that stood in the way between him and The Revelation. He would not have it. He could not have a stone between himself and his disciples, his mother, redemption, his Father. No stone would do that. No simple earthly stone was going to stand in his way.

Facing the stone Jesus looked up to heaven and repeated the same word, “Father!” He places his two scarred hands on the boulder blocking Jesus’ entrance into new life and it moved, slowly at first, out of his way.

No stone.

No nails.

No devil.

No death.

Nothing could stop him.

Nothing did.

As the stone rolled away so did the night. The stone was gone, darkness and sin were gone, evil and death were gone. Day broke through and with it Light, Salvation and Redemption. It was a moment of celebration for Father and Son. The grin on Jesus’ face was replaced with a huge smile. The smile erupted into a hearty laugh. “We did it. It’s done!” Jesus tilts back his head and laughs into the sky. “Father, we’ve won! Heaven has come. The doors are open wide so all can join us! Yeah!”

Jesus catches his breath, his heart pounding with excitement. He looks around one last time before he begins the final phase of his journey. Not too far away he sees the image of three empty crosses. Although it was a sobering view, his gaze then turned to the empty tomb behind him. Empty. Cloth on the ground. Stone rolled away. Empty. Jesus then begins to walk toward his future and ours.

A Sympathy Card to God

2011-04-10T13:20:00.000-04:00

2000 years ago~

Dear God

Your pain is unimaginable to me and I am so sorry! One son – only one- and he is gone. You two were really one person. You thought the same way, acted and talked the same way. You shared everything. Even when you were physically separate you talked together for hours daily. The death of your precious and special son Jesus must be more painful than words can express. I am very, very, sorry for that pain that I helped to create. Yes Father God I am at fault. I watched and did nothing to rescue Him on that awful day. I followed along but I remained silent out of fear of the soldiers. So partly because of my own fear, self-centeredness and unwillingness to live up to my true identity Your Son is dead. I stood there and simply watched instead of making any radical moves. Some did, you know. Veronica stepped forward to help him and so did Simon from Cyrene. But I didn’t. Knowing that I’m sure you believe it is bold of me to send you this sympathy card. But I’m begging for your mercy Father God and hoping you’ll find it in your generous heart to forgive me. I do love you but I know my lack of courage and integrity caused you incredible sadness. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry.

TODAY

Dear God

Father God, you put it in my heart to live a lifestyle of radical integrity each moment of the day. You gave me the strength and the knowledge I need to accomplish this as well as help from your Holy Spirit whenever it is needed. But I’m just as guilty as someone who stood along the sidelines while Jesus carried His cross to Calvary. Guilty in my failure to live up to the potential you’ve given me. I’m guilty for contributing to his pain AND yours by my inertia. I still haven’t fully lived the radical life of integrity. I’m disappointed in me, in the gift of life I have to return to you on my last day and I’m sorry.

We’re Hungry Lord.

2011-04-02T20:27:00.000-04:00

The Offertory at Mass is like the feeding of the hungry multitude. As a group the congregation stands before God crying, “We’re hungry, Lord!” The food we eat here on earth does not satisfy us. Our souls are empty and unfulfilled. Feed us, please. Fill us” In John 6:11 Jesus fed the crowd as much as they wanted. We bring what we’ve got to God and He blesses it and feeds us all.

Rev: 7:16 “Never again will they hunger. Never again will they thirst.”

Which One Are You?

2011-03-24T18:45:00.001-04:00

The Last Supper, like the celebration of Mass, was meant for all the apostles, including Judas.

The Transfiguration was only experienced by Peter, James and John.

But only John stood at the foot of the Cross .

Am I the Sunday Mass Catholic?
Am I the Catholic who shares in the spiritually high experiences with Jesus? with others in my life ?
Or am I the enduring, faithful one who accompanies Jesus (and others in my life) thru the most difficult of times, standing there faithfully until the very last moment?

AFTER I DIED....

2011-03-20T18:36:00.000-04:00

I can only imagine what my eyes will see when You stand before me.
Will I dance? Stand? Shout Alleluia? Be still? Fall to my knees? Be silent?
From the song by Mercy Me

On the day my life ends and I face you God for my final judgment I imagine I’d just be frozen silent and in awe. My insides would eventually react and I’d want to run up to you and hug you never letting go. I’d be crying tears of joy and relief. After years of waiting and wanting to be HOME with the One who made me and knows me, there I am. I’m in the arms of my God who loves me unconditionally. But confusion might fill me up again. I don’t deserve to hug you and be so close to you. I’m a sinner and I have been for all the years you put me on the earth.

Like Adam and Eve after the apple event I’d want to run and hide so I could somehow avoid facing You. But I can’t do that. “Where would I go to run from your presence?”(Ps. 119) And so the final Judgment begins. Like sneaking food while you’re on a diet, cheating on a test in school, being caught in a lie…the guilty feelings begin but they’re a lot worse. My life, full of sins and weaknesses, parades before me like a never ending very bad film. At one point Jesus grabs my hand to calm my growing anxiety. In my mind, it’s now official. I’ve failed to meet my own life’s goals- never mind God’s! Each sin was surrounded with different opportunities and graces that I’d never noticed because I was SO focused on what I wanted at the time. It was about meeting my own needs and creating new wants. Worse yet, it was my own report card. I wrote it all myself. Filled with regret, sadness and guilt I hang my head. I don’t bother trying to explain, justify or rationalize my actions as I would have on earth. God is holding my hand! I feel like pulling away but at the same time I really just can’t. This is God! All my life I’ve waited for this moment. The Beatific Vision. I finally have seen His face, experienced what it’s like to be in his presence and to feel complete. Life on earth was all about searching, seeking, struggling. Now I am full, sated and calm.

God reaches over and takes my other hand as we face each other eye to eye. Is this really happening? Am I going to wake up any second now? God is holding my hands and looking into my eyes. Now I realize I am fully known. It feels like there is no one else around and there never was. For God it was all about me. For some reason I have the audacity to speak (even as I say to myself “still you don’t get it. Just shut up. Nothing you say could be as important as listening to God’s words at this very moment.”) It feels like if I don’t speak what’s in my heart now I will miss my final opportunity to be honest. “Even the stones will shout”.

“Excuse me Lord” I say in a shaky voice.

“Call me Abba” God says, smiling.

“Abba, I shouldn’t even be speaking right now. You know who I was and I surely know what that looks like in comparison to your life on earth. You sent me graces and friends. I had my prayer time with you and the sacraments to help me. Still I chose myself over you. I wanted my own needs and wishes met first. I asked you for help and you sent it. I asked for wisdom, insight and your Holy Spirit. You gave me all of that.” Then, crying, I looked into God’s eyes and said, “Abba, I’m not ready. I don’t deserve to spend eternity here in Your Presence yet. I really want to get cleaned up more first. It’s like going into a wedding party as a bride’s maid – but wearing jeans! Can you let me go somewhere to get myself washed up? What I’ve done with this soul you gave me is not what you deserve. "
"
A tear fell from my Abba’s eyes as he said, “I’ve not taken back the gift of your free will. It’s still yours. Are you sure this is what you want?.” “Yes, yes, yes,” I replied. “ I couldn’t feel good about spending time with you forever until I did everything I could to make amends for my selfishness and failures. Will you allow me to do that first?” It was what I needed but not really what I wanted. I knew what I was asking. After being with God I was asking to be separated from him again.

“Many others have come to me with the same request. And when they do enter heaven after their period of cleansing they enjoy it so much more. I will let you go then into the desert of separation until you are ready to rejoin Me here. Know that I’ll be waiting and always looking forward to the day we are re-united as we were always meant to be. You were made to be with me. You’ll be complete when we are finally together forever and I want that day to come so much more than even you do. I’ve been waiting for you for many years. But if this is your request, I will continue to wait for you. During our time apart remember always that I am waiting for you. ”

After a very long hug, Abba slipped away from me and I was completely alone.

Pain Hurts

2011-02-26T20:16:00.000-05:00

keep begging

St. Paul said, "If you love those who love you what good is there in that?"
Thomas Merton said, " If you always do what you like to do there is no merit in that."

So if life is simple and smooth and Jesus and I talk together every day I'm happy. I feel peaceful. It is nice to be on a honeymoon but that's not real life. We're supposed to look at problems as opportunities. God is always with us so we're never alone in our pain. Thomas Merton says our surface self may be troubled but the Holy Spirit brings peace deep into the soul.

That may be true but pain hurts. It doesn't matter if its temporary or circumstantial or even if we're only feeling it because someone we love is the one in pain. Pain hurts. It upsets my physical being and makes me lose my focus. Sometimes it's powerful enough to knock me down. I feel empty. I'm not talking about an interruption or a relatively minor problem. Those are like being jostled. Pain is being knocked completely off course. Suffering is a better word because it seems to describe the slowness of an on-going process. And it hurts.

The truest saying of all is that time heals. It may take three days, three weeks or three years. It certainly takes three Persons in One. Only after our pain begins to subside do the clouds move out of our vision. When that happens we can see more clearly again and we notice who, what and where we went to seek comfort in our pain. But it takes some time and my job is to be patient and calm (isn't that what peace is?) while I wait for the suffering to ease and the healing to begin.

The process can't be rushed - it would only have to begin again. I've tried that. Suffering also will not be ignored. It returns at every quiet moment and with certain memory triggers. so if you can't rush it or ignore it what else can you do? You could always cover it over with "comfort" food, drugs or alcohol, shopping, working, or going on a vacation. But when that cover is finally removed the suffering is still there.

I have to learn to sit with my pain. To let it just be. To look at it carefully and understand it. Take it apart and look at all the pieces...gently. Yuck. But for me there is no way around it That's why I'm writing this instead of stoically ignoring the pain or shopping or going to work earlier and ignoring my prayer time. I'm admitting my pain and letting it out. It's a new approach for me. I even asked Jesus for help. I began to do that about two years ago- finally. It doesn't go away any faster but it feels more honest.

Jesus, I'm not your perfect child. Can't seem to do much on my own but that's OK. I could do a lot worse than being dependent on You. What am I trying to hide? You know me thru and thru. When you were on earth you sometimes spoke to Your Father all night long. That wasn't all about getting instructions for the next day. I'll bet you talked about us a lot to your Abba and I'll bet you needed - because You were fully human- to let go of some of your pain and frustration. I'd love to have overheard some of those prayers! Altho I can't listen in, I can certainly mimic your behavior. Help me please and accept my suffering as a gift to You for the accomplishment of Your holy will.
Thank you.

And God smiled.

2011-02-02T16:21:00.000-05:00

(R. Hook)

And God smiled.

There I sat pouring out my heart, anxious about some event to happen in the course of that day…. I missed it because I was so preoccupied with getting rid of the burden.

And God smiled.

Wondering whether my life had turned out the way you expected it to Lord. Did I give as much as I could? Did I represent you well to others? Was I a good example…so many questions.

And God smiled.

I read the Lives of the Saints. For months and months and months I tried to mimic their behaviors. Failing miserably almost every single day. Reproaching myself for not being able to do for one hour what they did for a lifetime.

And God smiled.

I tried to energize my prayer by listening to hymns and songs. I tried to draw. It looked like a 4 year old’s work! A stick figure of myself kneeling at the foot of your Cross with hands outstretched to receive any grace you might share with me.

And God smiled.

I never let a second of time go by without working my hardest to make that second a gift worthy to give to the Lord. People called me crazy and intense saying I had no common sense. But my exhaustion and my emptiness at the end of the day became my encouragement to keep going.

And God smiled.

I went on retreats. I gave retreats. I had a spiritual director. I became a spiritual director. I read every religious book I could get my hands on. I started a blog on spirituality.

And God smiled.

Every day God smiled at me. He smiled whether I was intense or exhausted. He smiled when I was singing off key and drawing stick figures. God smiled no matter what I did. It is the smile of parents staring at their newborn child. It was the warm smile of a mom holding a card hand made by her 5 year old. It’s the proud smile of a dad who watches his son on the town Little League team.

It’s the same smile God the Father had when Jesus was born in the manger and when John baptized him in the Jordan as the Father peaked thru the clouds to announce Him.

That smile doesn’t stop me from doing all those crazy things, rather it encourages me. Jesus loves me! It makes me wild with enthusiasm. I want to give him gifts, make him things. I want to do “something beautiful for God.” I want to face him at the end of my life with empty hands and be able to say ‘I used up everything you gave me’. So I’ll keep being excited and making every second of the day a gift. You can call me intense or any other descriptive work you like but this is between Jesus and me.

And I believe he’s smiling.

Going the Easy Way or the Hard Way

2011-01-22T20:49:00.000-05:00

andy dean photography

Jesus begs us to come to him and our own needs take us to him.

M. Scott Peck

Jesus, you left your Holy Word, your sacraments, your Rock the Church and your vey self in the Eucharist for us. And you wait. You are present in each and all of those things just as you are present in my daily life and the persons and situations in it. Every moment of every day is filled with opportunities to meet you. And every second of the day I make a choice to go about my way or to look for you. If I just remove my self-centered glasses I’ll see the opportunity more clearly. I’ll see you more clearly. But if I keep those glasses on I’ll have to learn the hard way.

Obstacles mount, unclear vision, evil…so many things get in the way. When I fall and become weak under the pressure of it all my needs will drive me to you. Where else is there to go?

Why don’t I just take the easier route to where you are already waiting for me?

Gratitude and My Nothingness

2011-01-17T11:17:00.000-05:00

Reflections on thoughts from Thomas Merton and The Shack

Self-loathing and lack of self-confidence are not from God. DaVinci knew he created a great work of art when he finished the Mona Lisa. God knew the same think about me the very moment I was conceived. For me to feel under whelmed by God’s design only speaks about my own ignorance. For me to wish I was something or someone else is a rejection of God’s wisdom and love. These feelings and wishes of mine can only lead to despair. They can’t fix anything and they exist without hope because I cannot become anyone else. I can only be me. To really turn this around (metanoia) and to put the devil back in his place (who else would these thoughts be coming from?) I need to value or at least appreciate my weaknesses. Jesus himself didn’t please everyone when he walked on this very same earth! What makes me think everyone is going to like me?

It feels like I keep making mistakes. Am I ever going to stop committing the same sins? It seems I wake up each morning with the intention that this is the day I’m going to make God proud of me. Today I’ll be Christ-like, i.e. patient, kind and gentle. But I only increase my self-accusations and sense of failure if I live my self-imposed rules. It also fuels my need for control. What a mess I’ve created. If God created me uniquely and considers His creation to be special and precious then I can’t increase my value. I can‘t be any more worthwhile than I am. Setting goals like that becomes a useless activity. It brings me to a sense of defeat when I can’t keep them and (duh!) I can’t make God any more proud of me than He was when he created me. He’s not proud of me because of what I’ve done, He’s proud of me for who I am. “Rules only have the power to accuse.” (The Shack p. 201) “And to the degree that you resort to expectations and responsibilities, to that degree you neither know nor trust me.” (The Shack p. 208) Heavy.

“You are wonderful beyond imagination- the pinnacle of my creation and the Center of my affections.” (The Shack p. 192)

My good deeds are more likely to be accomplished and are of much more value if I do them because God deserves them. They are my gifts to Him out of love and gratitude. They show Him I’m trying to look more like my Father by imitating Him. The focus is then on Him and not on me. My lived-out gratitude to God for his indescribably delicious unconditional love becomes my actual life.

We Begin This New Year

2011-01-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

by Sister Joyce Rupp

We begin this new yaer with amazement at the presence of the Holy One.

We begin this new year with gratitude for life.

We begin this new year with hope that all shall be well.

We begin this new year with courage to meet what will be difficult.

We begin this new year with eyes ever alert for beauty.

We begin this new year with openness to greater truth.

We begin this new year with desire for continued transformation.

We begin this new year with compassion for the hurting ones in the cosmos.

We begin this new year with a sense of kinship with all whom we love.

We begin this new year with respect as others mentor and deepen our vision.

We begin this new year with determination to use out time well.

We begin this new year with willingness to help those who will need our care.

We begin this new year with longing for greater inner freedom.

We begin this new year with happiness, that we are invited to live life fully.

We being this new year with love for Holy One, our Intimate Companion.

The Manger- from Our Father's Eyes

2010-12-20T20:31:00.000-05:00

Jesus, memories of your birth are accompanied by predictions of your death. Life and death. Good and bad. Joy and struggle. I get distracted by thoughts of death/bad/struggles; sometimes focused on them. Some other times trying to ignore them. That’s one of the life lessons I’ve learned. Somehow we have to learn to experience and accept them both. But it doesn’t seem to be the instinctive way- at least not for me. I want the good times to last and I don’t want my balloons burst so to speak. I want to go to baptisms, not funerals. I want to be a saint (small s) and not a sinner. But I am BOTH. Sadness is followed by joy. Life is followed by death. Darkness is followed by LIGHT.

So this Christmas is different. Life is not all about blinking lights, jolly men giving away free gifts or even babies in mangers. The full picture includes the denials, the scourging and the wood of the cross. Joy- but tempered with wisdom and not only fantasy minded. Enjoy the decorations completely but somewhere in my mind must be the acceptance that they are only up for a season. The Chu8rch calendar makes it seem that one can focus on the manger scene and ignore the 6’ cross hanging above the main altar. I can’t do that this year. My brain’s efforts at compartmentalizing must give way to emotional flexibility. Dare I say vulnerability?? Reality vs. fantasy. Joy tempered by wisdom. Youth melting into maturity but with equal parts of both. Then I can appreciate the manger scene as God the Father must have. They myrrh wasn’t just a nice birthday present. It was at the burial as well. The mother didn’t just kneel at the foot of the manger. The manger wasn’t the only creation made from the tree.

To appreciate Christmas fully and really say THANK YOU for this indescribable gift I have to read the whole Gospel and look at the scent from God the Father’s eyes.

a christmas poem

2010-12-14T19:42:00.000-05:00

I Feel Chosen and Special

A dumb animal they call me.

They mock and use my name as a curse.

But I was the one grazing in the field that day when Joseph came.

He traded a carpentry tool for me and we began our long journey.

They were very kind to me on that trip to Bethlehem.

I didn't realize who the child in Mary's womb was.

But I felt chosen and so very special.

Three walls and a simple roof were all I had to offer.

No heat, no light, not even a door to protect them from the cold

But they seemed to be glad to find me and to rest here.

And I felt chosen and so very special.

All I really am is a container for food.

My name means "to eat".

Cows, horses, lambs - their mouths push into my center while they eat.

I wasn't clean. And I'm not very sturdy.

I had never carried so precious a bundle!

People were calling the baby boy an Infant King.

And I was his first throne: a manger.

I felt chosen and so very special.

None of them felt as unworthy as I.

I am the hay -course, cold and damp.

I am only good for animals to eat.

I was not the soft pillow or bed that a baby should have.

This infant has a rough beginning.

I wish I was softer, more supple and I smelled sweeter.

But I was the closest to his skin.

I felt chosen and so very special

He could have chosen a smarter, more faithful person.

He could have chosen a wiser, calmer,

more loving soul than mine.

But I am the one he calls the apple of his eye.

I am the one he holds in the palm of his hand.

I am the reason that his last throne was a crucifix

.I feel chosen and so very special

In Heaven I want to See-

2010-11-19T16:06:00.001-05:00

When I die I don't want to be greeted by a stranger and spend eternity with that person. Then - of ALL times- I want to be met by Someone I know and know well. I want to feel welcomed and be hugged tightly. And when we walk and talk together I don't want to feel scared and out of place as happens many times on earth when you go to a new place with lots of people. It needs to feel more like Home, more like a returning that a first visit. I want to feel like I fit in, like "Finally! I belong!" I hope it feels like its perfectly natural to be there with whoever is around me. Like returning Home after a very, very long journey with lots of strangers in a different country. I want to be able to completely relax, be at peace and be known fully but still loved, appreciated and enjoyed. I want to have a Go To person as my friend; One who'll show me around and answer all my questions (I've had so many for so long). I would be great if it was a place where I can look forward to being, like every day is a count down to That Day. It's The Day when the veil will be lifted from my eyes and I will see clearly what I could never really see on earth.

And most of all I want to see the Face of the Person who loves me unconditionally. The Person who has always loved me despite my flounderings. I want to see that Person who loves me. I want to see that Person. I want to see.

God Loves Plutos

2010-11-14T19:22:00.004-05:00

Just thoughts I've read recently

I am God's patient- not yet cured. C.S. Lewis

Trees bend low with ripened fruit;
Clouds hang down with gentle rain;
Noble men bow graciously
This is the way of generous things. Bhartrihari

We become what we meditate on. Easwaran

Grace is a bursting presence of love at a time when we have the right only to expect condemnation or emptiness or aloneness. It is an unearned, unexpected present. M.Scott Peck

Just keep rattling your begging bowl. Sit like a begger when you go in God's presence tomorrow until he fills it. Refuse to take no or later for an answer. de Mello

Ever felt Plutoed? One day you're in and the next day you're out. God loves all of us Plutos because He chooses to. Not because you or i are big or important. You don't need to win God's love. You have it already. And since you can't win it you can't lose it. Max Lucado

Jesus is my PROTECTOR

2010-10-21T11:21:00.004-04:00

Thank you my Jesus! My Savior and Protector! I revel in the title of Protector, Jesus. It brings me great peace. You’ve protected me from both myself and others. A person needs protection when they are vulnerable to someone or thing. When they don’t see manipulation by others to meet their own self serving needs. I was absorbed by the other person – not free, certainly not self-defensive. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t even see clearly or understand what was happening. The person who should have protected me did the opposite. Without understanding it all and without protection I was deeply hurt and in constant pain. I was meandering about, lost and very vulnerable. But you, Jesus, rescued me! When I couldn’t see things for myself you brought LIGHT to the situation. When I lost my way you became my compass and pointed me toward the right direction. I didn’t even know it was happening. You remained hidden. I was thinking you were distant but my pain clouded both my eyes and ears. You worked thru it all and found my hand, leading me thru the woods into the sunlight on the other side. I haven’t reached there yet but I almost don’t want to. The intimacy of our relationship now is special. I need you. I’m vulnerable, lost and almost blind but I have you. I feel very safe because I KNOW – there is not a single doubt- that you are in this very spot with me. So I move forward one step at a time with something that feels like tremendous courage on my part. In truth I know it’s the strength passing from your hand into mine that’s leading me forward. Thru osmosis your grace gives me confidence. I am SO loved! I am special to the Lord God of the Universe. The King calls me his child. The Savior rescued me – again. I have been here before so I recognize his handiwork. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. All I did was get lost – so lost I didn’t even know night from day. But in my pain I called out for help because I thought I was alone. A year later I see I was not. I am not. You are a beautiful sight my Jesus! A beautiful, beautiful and welcome sight. Your face brings me joy- such a precious experience. I love you.

Why you are Valuable

2010-08-07T13:05:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking and praying a lot about the concept of having a healthy self image. Was reading a book called Your Life Is Your Message by Easwaran, an Eastern Spirituality type. From it I conjured up the following thoughts.

God is the resident of your deepest consciousness who is waiting to be discovered, calling out to be touched and used. God is Self because He gave Himself to you at your Baptism and countless times after that. God is your heart's home. Even is we've made mistakes God/Self doesn't relocate. Even if we doubt His existence there, God doesn't leave us. He always lives in the deepest part of our consciousness wanting to be touched and used. God/Self is not less in one believer that He is in another. A simple spark of God is enough to fill the world with Light.
God lives in your deepest consciousness begging to be freed by your actions. Your faith in that message is what begins His release. The Savior of the world, who opened the gates of heaven for us all by dying on the Cross is He who has taken up residence in your heart's home- your soul. It is His presence in your very being that makes you precious. It isn't anything you've done or not done, earned or not earned. It is God's generous and selfless gift to you. It's not about you. It's about God in you. He chose you as His Home.
Believe this and live confidently and freely WITH Him.

Me and the Guys (Apostles)

2010-07-19T19:26:00.005-04:00

Jesus, you were so great with the Apostles. I’m sure you knew what they were like when you chose each of them. Was it despite that or because of that you said, “Come, follow Me”?
Hey Lord, can we sit on your right hand and on your left?
Jesus, let’s build a big Temple here. Isn’t that a great idea?
Of course, we’ll watch and pray with you, Lord. I might just close my eyes for a minute tho...

So Jesus you actually chose these specific guys to pass on your job after you died. That’s really surprising. But even more surprising is that they did. I’m writing 2010 years after that fact and we’re still talking about them and you. So the fumbling apostles got it together with your grace and the Holy Spirit. They managed to tell the whole world about you and to establish the Roman Catholic Church.

God’s will will be accomplished.

That’s good, because I could sure use some help! I’m like a Van Gogh that’s been damaged. I’m a great design because of You. But I need restoration to get back to the original version. So I place myself in your hands Great Artist Lord! O Great Designer, adjust my emotional colors please. I trust you. Take out whatever tools you need and do what you have to do. I know I have nothing to fear. I only want your will to be done in me and through me.

Can Prayer Be That Simple?

2010-07-02T15:05:00.001-04:00

Dear God,
When I’m with other people I don’t fill every moment with prescribed conversation. I may think of some few points I want to discuss with them and the rest of our time together flows as it may. We may go somewhere together , eat together or be silent together. Prayer time can be like that too. The longer I know you the fewer words that are needed to be said.

There’s no pressure to produce gifts for you, no need to review our past, no need to schedule every moment. I don’t do that with my real life friends. We do discuss our daily lives, problems and relationships and I hear their advice and input. I listen. We enjoy being in each others presence and when that time is over we hug and schedule a next visit. Where will we meet? What time?

At that time approaches I become happy as I anticipate our visit- the expectation of our time together, my friend’s actual arrival. And so the relationship evolves. We just enjoy being together because we have the same interests and values.

That’s what our prayer life together is- just that simple. Thank you Lord for the gift of time with you.

change involves risk

2010-06-14T12:27:00.003-04:00

As an infant we crawled and something inside challenged us to stand and to walk. A risk for sure but one which benefited us as we literally stepped into the unknown. No one guaranteed there’d be no falls. And those falls hurt- stunned us. Yet, in our innocence we took the risk again and again until the unknown became the familiar. The change brought us into a new vision of the world which we enjoyed.

Now, many years later Jesus challenges us to spiritual growth. But years of falling and getting hurt remind us of the pain involved with change. We don’t hear Jesus’ instructions or we thing the message was made up in our own minds and so not to be trusted.

I’ve also noticed how much of a creature of habit I am. I repeat the same behaviors simply because they’ve become my pattern. Before time for thought even seems to go by I’ve repeated my usual action or response. Only afterwards does the regret come. Like St. Paul, “I do the very things I hate.”

Jesus please help me to change my behaviors before I do or say them. I don’t need or want to gossip or complain but I do. I don’t mean to be impatient, but I surely am. I don’t want to do the right things. I want to be the right person – the one you created me to be.

It says: "Be not Do perfect".

2010-05-31T16:58:00.001-04:00

Which is easier? Doing things perfectly is much easier than being more like God than your human nature inclines you to be. It’s much easier to clean the house than to be a patient spouse. It’s easier to go to Mass every Sunday than to always tell the truth. It’s easier to help at the local food bank than to hold your anger and accept when things don’t go your way. Doing is much easier than being.

God is love. To be perfect we strive to be more like God and still be our very best self. God created the design he calls YOU so he does not want us to destroy that. He enjoys how we put our own twist on becoming God-like. So it’s not about denying our core selves, our very personalities. Let that flourish and grow because that IS God. What we must deny is the selfish sinful part of our humanity that wants its own way.

That does not necessitate that we concentrate on our sinfulness. Let it just whither away from lack of use, like an unexercised muscle. We need to BE. That is concentrating on the pure, the honest and the simple. 1Cor 13 describes it well: patient, kind and humble. It’s not about being jealous of another’s good fortune but about genuinely rejoicing for them with no envy or bitterness. To be loving (instead of just doing acts of love) you do not look to have your own needs met- perhaps the hardest of all the love definitions. A person who loves perfectly is infinitely calm, forgives and forgets and welcomes criticism. That person never gives up hope and trust in God and is, therefore, a joyful person who daily and faithfully perseveres.

Love is patient and kind. When my mind feels confused and I’m waiting for clarification from God I’m not very patient. I like my T’s crossed and my i’s dotted preferring not to live in ambiguity. It’s an uncomfortable place to be….out of a job, waiting for a diagnosis, in the midst of a conversion experience of some kind. That’s when I need to be patient and, while being patient, also be kind. Not easy for me! Impatience brings with it an unsettling sense of aggravation, not kindness.

Jesus suffered at the agony in the garden and found his best friends asleep during it all. I’d have said “Look, I asked you to watch and pray but you’re all sleeping! Go. I don’t need friends like this!” Jesus certainly wasn’t happy with them but he held his tongue and asked them once again to pray for him.

Love is not self seeking. I believe that humans are instinctively self-centered. I am. Our primary thoughts are about ourselves. Hungry, tired, thirsty, angry, sad. Those things seem to preoccupy our minds over thoughts about others. If I’m really tired I am usually insensitive to the apparent needs of others. I don’t seem to be able to find the energy or the desire to go outside of myself to focus on them. Yet that is exactly what God wants and what Jesus did while He was on earth. Indeed 1 Cor 13 says “if I give all I have to the poor but have not love, I gain nothing.” We do, give and act but that’s not the love St. Paul describes. That’s not being Jesus. It’s only mimicking his actions.

Christianity is not for the feint of heart. It is not easy to be like Jesus. It’s a lot easier to put on an act. Yet acting is only the first step toward heart transformation.

John the Baptist Application to Life

2010-05-24T19:04:00.005-04:00

“Among you stands one you do not know.”
John 1: 26

Jesus had been living on earth for 30 years yet no one recognized him for who he was. Even after that statement, Jesus still had to present himself to the world through John by asking to be baptized. I’m struck first by the humility of our Lord and Savior. Jesus lived with his mom then conformed to the expected norm by being baptized by his cousin. Jesus didn’t even introduce himself. In his humility Jesus lowered himself into the water before John to be baptized. His Father, however, couldn’t contain himself and burst thru the clouds to say, “This is My Son!”

Life Application
Protect your family.

Follow appropriate societal and religious rules

Look for Jesus. He is standing right in front of you.

There is no need to announce your talents or good qualities to the world. Just use them.

If you heavenly Father (maybe thru another human being) chooses to applaud you just allow it neither stopping it, egging it on nor falsely denying it.

He spent 30 hidden years with his mother. She’s had more time with him than anyone on earth ever could and that’s my second observation. Surely I should cultivate my relationship with Mary! How much more could she tell me about his personality. They lived together for 10 times the number of years that Jesus spent on earth revealing himself to the entire world. She knew his daily schedule, his moods. She knew his favorite foods and his likes and dislikes. Mary lived with Jesus while he developed both his prayer life and his talents. Given that their world had no TV, iPods or cell phones Mary and her son must have genuinely communicated on a daily basis. Imagine being a fly on that wall!

Life Application
Family is important

Contemplate the intimacy of the relationship between Jesus and Mary

If Mary was so important to Jesus that he spent 30 of his 33 years of life on earth with her, then I should spend time with her also.

Search the Gospels, listen to others, read and pray so as to get to know Jesus as well as Mary does.

“I would not have known him, except that the One who sent me to baptize with water told me…that this is the Son of God.”
Jn 1:33

John the Baptist speaks the truth. On his own he would not have recognized Jesus Christ. Hundreds of people sought John daily to be baptized. He performed this mission daily, baptizing person after person.

Life Application
Whether its mission work or making widgets we wake up every day to do our job. After a while we develop routines and the monotony begins. But, John had his ear to the ground and kept his heart open to listen. Because of that he was able to receive the Father’s message. Be quiet in your soul and receptive every day.

John kept saying it wasn’t about him but about the “One whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.” It is not about me. I am only the Lord’s unworthy servant.

Announce the Lord when you meet him. Look for and greet Him in others. Boldly reveal Jesus to the world in your own unique way.

A broken heart...

2010-05-11T19:22:00.002-04:00

A broken heart is a compassionate heart. Maybe my heart has turned stoney as a defense mechanism. God never asked me to be perfect tho. He never asked me to move mountains. He has asked me, by allowing my heart to be broken, to live simply and humbly- to be less complicated. Amazingly, this is a lot harder than it sounds.

Death Won't Get in MY Way!

2010-04-04T19:27:00.000-04:00

Jesus, did you just sort of “wake up” lying in that tomb?

Your eyes flutter open but your face is covered. To move that covering, your hands have to reach up. But your fingers and your nose tell you other things cover your body. Instinctively you try to move your hand up toward your face to move the cloth. Now you smell the myrrh – a smell your life began with 33 years ago. Your hand moves the cloth and fragrances away from your eyes and mouth. As you do that your hand feels tightness to it and to open your palm fully requires a stretching motion. Finally you’ve cleared your face with the help of your second hand. That hand too required that you stretch your fingertips wide to relieve the tautness of the spread.

It’s dark inside the tomb so you don’t see the scars on your palms but as you begin to awaken you also begin to remember. You remember the smell of those same fragrances from your visit to Lazarus’ tomb. Your now outstretched hand brings the scene back. The darkness that covers you confirms the memory. I was dead.

As you lie there you try to collect your thoughts.

I was dead.

The nails went through these same hands. I remember the hammer coming toward my hands and feet. The memories are all rushing back now.

The spear went through my side, Jesus recalled. Instinctively he reached to touch it. A healed scar replaced the torn flesh. And as he tried to lift his head, a smile began to grow ever so slightly on one side of his mouth. I was dead.

No crown of thorns on his head now as Jesus tries to hoist his upper body into a seated position. Buds, plants and flowers all trickle and fall away and Jesus removes the cloth that had once covered his face and body.

Seated upright his eyes try to focus and he turns his head to see where they placed his once lifeless body. The tiny smile begins to broaden into a grin. “Oh Father!” He had been buried and placed in someone’s tomb. It was someone else’s tomb because Jesus never had one for himself. Did he think he’d never need one?

“Father” Only one word. After all the experiences of the past three days the only word Jesus could bring himself to speak was “Father”. In that word alone was the full realization of what happened. The union of the two in that one word was like a meteor hitting the earth. The Father, who had been watching his Son’s body return to life as closely as he watched him be scourged, crucified and die, spoke his son’s name. “Jesus!” The strength of their love for one another was spoken in those single words. It was as though a huge surprise party was about to take place and only they knew about it. Jesus’ heart began to pound. He was suddenly anxious to remove himself from the tomb entirely. (Did Lazarus feel like this?”) He place two scarred but strong feet on the ground and reached his head and arms to heaven. He couldn’t wait to meet his beloved Father. He wanted to hug him, give his Abba a big, hearty pat on the back and say, “We did it! It’s done!” Instinctively he knew that would have to wait.
He looked for the entrance to the place where he had lain. Feeling around the walls which surrounded him, Jesus came upon the big stone that stood in the way between him and The Revelation. He would not have it. He could not have a stone between himself and his disciples, his mother, redemption, his Father. No stone would do that. No simple earthly stone was going to stand in his way.
Facing the stone Jesus looked up to heaven and repeated the same word, “Father!” He places his two scarred hands on the boulder blocking Jesus’ entrance into new life and it moved, slowly at first, out of his way.

No stone.
No nails.
No devil.
No death.
Nothing could stop him.
Nothing did.

As the stone rolled away so did the night. The stone was gone, darkness and sin were gone, evil and death were gone. Day broke through and with it Light, Salvation and Redemption. It was a moment of celebration for Father and Son. The grin on Jesus’ face was replaced with a huge smile. The smile erupted into a hearty laugh. “We did it. It’s done!” Jesus tilts back his head and laughs into the sky. “Father, we’ve won! Heaven has come. The doors are open wide so all can join us! Yeah!”

Jesus catches his breath, his heart pounding with excitement. He looks around one last time before he begins the final phase of his journey. Not too far away he sees the image of three empty crosses. Although it was a sobering view, his gaze then turned to the empty tomb behind him. Empty. Cloth on the ground. Stone rolled away. Empty.

Jesus then begins to walk toward his future and ours.

The Most Horrible Crime

2010-03-20T20:00:00.000-04:00

The most horrible crime in history was committed by those men who crucified Jesus. But Papa says, "In my relationship with those men I will never bring up what they did, shame them or embarrass them. "

What a great God we have!

Wm Paul Young: The Shack p. 225

Do not be afraid

2010-03-14T18:30:00.000-04:00

John Paul frequently said "Do not be afraid" when he visited countries. When asked to explain he said "We should not fear the truth about ourselves. Even Peter, the first Pope, was a sinful man! We all are, including Popes. We are imperfect and our hearts are anxious. Christ knows our anguish best of all. Do not be afraid of God, but instead invoke Him. Call him Father. He himself became a man in Jesus Christ. Do not be afraid of God who became a man. (Italics are John Paul's)

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/audiences/1979/documents/hf_jp-ii_aud_19790314_en.html
John Paul the Great

On my own....I fail

2010-02-28T19:20:00.000-05:00

"You must be born from above." I cannot be reborn from below, that is with my own strength, with my own mind, and with my own psychological insights. There is no doubt in my mind about this because I have tried so hard in the past to heal myself from the complaints and failed.....and failed until I came to the edge of physical exhaustion. I can only be healed from above, from where God reaches down. What is impossible for me is possible for God. "With God everything is possible."
I cannot forgive myself. I cannot love myself. I cannot leave my anger. I cannot bring myself home nor can I create communion on my own. I can desire it, hope for it, wait for it, pray for it. But my own true freedom I cannot fabricate for myself. That must be given to me. I am lost. I must be found and brought home by the Shepherd who reaches out to me.
by Henri Nouwen The Return Of The Prodigal Son

The Clay by Ron DiCianni ©

My Favorite One

2010-02-20T18:26:00.000-05:00

The younger son said, "I started to walk home slowly and hesitantly, hearing ever more clearly the voice that says: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests." It is a light-giving voice that keeps calling me 'my favorite one.'

i am a little church

2010-02-15T18:16:00.010-05:00

i am a little church by E. E. Cummings

i am a little church (no great cathedral) far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities- i do

not worry if briefer days grow briefest, i am not sorry when sun and rain make april my life is

the life of the reaper and the sower; my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving

(finding and losing and laughing and crying) children whose any sadness or joy is my grief or

my gladness around me surges a miracle of unceasing birth and glory and death and

resurrection: over my sleeping self float flaming symbols of hope, and i wake to a perfect

patience of mountains i am a little church (far from the frantic world with its rapture and

anguish) at peace with nature -i do not worry if longer nights grow longest; i am not sorry

when silence becomes singing winter by spring, i lift my diminutive spire to merciful Him

Whose only now is forever: standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence (welcoming

humbly His light and proudly His darkness) .

Death and Life ...Again

2010-01-01T21:29:00.007-05:00

Last year (see post on 12/12/2008) on 12/5 my 30 yr old nephew died. This year (2009) on 12/13 my dad died. How does one integrate death with the Christmas season? It is a natural part of the cycle of life we all know. But when it hits home its not such an intellectual discussion. I actually contemplated the manger in Church and I could feel the joy of Jesus' birth. Our church has a very large crucifix suspended from the ceiling. I couldn't focus on that b/c the pain was too much. It was much more comfortable to look at a newborn baby... a smiling Savior.

Jesus, be born in my heart please so that I may gently give birth to you in my world.

Psalm of an Emerging Emmanuel

“O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,”
I pray with upraised eyes.
Drop down, O Dew of Heaven,
That God might walk and talk on earth,
Might heal and feed our sin-soaked world.
O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,
My prayer like searchlights
Comb the starry winter skies.
Descend from the black hole
of some neighboring galaxy
to green with your grace
our barren earth.
Such an Advent waiting prayer
can be a lifelong profession of patient longing,
unless I know, with all my heart,
that Emmanuel not only comes down
but also comes forth and emerges.
O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,
Come forth from deep within me
With Christmas luminous beauty.
For my heart has become the sacred crib,
The birthing place of God-among-us.
Peace on earth and justice for all
Will only become manifest in our lives
When enough of our sons and daughters
Awaken to your divine design
That has made each of us
an emerging Emmanuel.
From Psalms for Sacred Seasons

Where to Find God...

2009-11-01T07:00:00.005-05:00

Earth's crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God

And only he who sees takes off his shoes;

The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries
elizabeth barrett browning

The whole earth is filled with God’s glory – people, seasons, work, relationships. Those who recognize His handiwork can’t help but remove their shoes fir it is indeed Holy Ground. They look for Him carefully, respectfully, expectantly. They search because they know they will find Him. Confidently and joyfully they search with eyes wide open. Their hearts whisper, “God is here! I must find Him. I must see Him!”

The rest of us are like tourists, looking but not seeing. We grab and hold onto shiny objects that bring an oooh or an aaaah. God must be here in this or that. We’d never imagine God to be in the dull, the normal or routine. We distract ourselves by plucking the blackberries while at the same time ignoring the beautiful countryside around us.

The earth is full of the grandeur of God. The temple is filled with His glory. Holy, holy, holy is the Lord!

Let God Love You

2009-10-10T12:04:00.004-04:00

You can use this for a reflection....something on the order of an imagery or centering prayer.

1 One of the reasons why our prayer fails is that it is too self centered. We must get out of ourselves and center on God and His kingdom. Knowing a truth will not nourish us. Coming into direct contact with God will.
Rest in His loving presence. Get comfortable physically
Quiet your mind. Erase the past for a moment. Ease your mind of all expectations.
Unite in Him, it’s only you and God.
Cease thinking. It’s not about what you think Put your brain to sleep for a while.
Love God with your whole heart and let God love you. (Anthony De Mello )

2 My parents could not have wanted ME. At best they wanted a healthy boy or girl. Only God wanted me. (New Catechism) So come before the Father, put your ear against his chest and listen, without interruption to the heartbeat of God. (Nouwen )

Let God love you.

3 You weren’t mass produced. You aren’t an assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted and lovingly positioned on this earth. God Thinks You’re Wonderful. Blessed be the Lord your God who has delighted in you.
(Max Lucado and 1 Kings 10:9 )
Let God love you.

4 Jesus did not get his approval externally – not from what Peter, James or John thought. He didn’t care whether Caeser smiled or frowned. God loved Him and that was all He needed to know. (Jesus CEO)
Let God love you.

5 Max Lucado said: “When my daughters were small they played with Play-Doh. If they forgot to put the lid on the can the substance hardened. Then they brought it to me. My hands were bigger. My fingers stronger. I could mold the stony stuff into putty. Is your heart hard? Take it to The Father. You’re only a prayer away.

Accepting love, forgiveness and healings is much harder than giving it. (H. Nouwen)
Let God love you.

6 You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in you Himself. (C.S.Lewis)

For the prodigal son, coming home meant walking step by step toward the One who awaits me with open arms and wants to hold me in an eternal embrace. I did not realize how deeply rooted my resistance was and how agonizing it would be to come to my senses, fall on my knees and let my tears flow freely. (Nouwen)
Let God love you.

7 You may say, “Jesus, I feel lost.” I’m sorry it feels that way, but hear me clearly. You are NOT lost. I am with you always. Learn to live loved. (The SHACK by Young)
Let God love you.

8 You can’t see the stars during the day but that doesn’t mean they are not there. God is faithful. (John Eldredge)

God says:
For you to know or not to know has nothing to do with whether I am actually here of not. I am always with you. I will be with you whether you sense my presence or not. So if you imagine the future with fear, you show you do not trust my love for you. (The SHACK )
Let God love you.

9 You’ve never disappointed Me, God says. My love is a lot bigger than your stupidity. You are wonderful beyond imagination – the pinnacle of my creation and the center of my affection. (The SHACK )

Let God love you.
10 God loves me as much as he loves his son Jesus Christ so let Him love you now. (Jn 17: 23)

We are Family

2009-09-07T10:45:00.007-04:00

"The Spirit testifies that we are God's children." Rms 8:16

So in my spiritual family, with God as my Father and Jesus as my Brother, there is a culture of suffering for the sake of others. My Father did it by offering the world His Son. My brother Jesus did it by offering His own life. My Mother Mary did it by becoming pregnant while unmarried. That's just what is done in this family. If I'm a member of the family I can join in this effort.

a Sarayu fractal

2009-08-19T20:17:00.003-04:00

My emotional pain....

2009-07-06T10:18:00.005-04:00

God peeking thru.....

Like Mack in The Shack I've recently been thru some serious trauma. Actually it was almost 2 years ago. Since that time I've neglected this blog b/c of my own emptiness- physical, emotional and spiritual. I'm beginning now, thank you Lord!, to get back on track....just beginning. I'm completely affected by the book b/c it resonates in my heart AND soul. Mack's pain and misunderstanding of life and God are my experience, too. I don't hate God and I never did or could. Why would I? I just have misunderstood many things...like doing vs. being perfect....like judging things/situations as black and white...like understanding that God's always been there but my pain has blocked my vision of Him. WOW. My stupidity and lack of simplicity overwhelms me, but God is good and he loves me thru it all.

Pray for me and I will for you...for all those doing their best to be God-followers. AMEN.

Thoughts from The Shack

2009-07-02T18:08:00.003-04:00

Papa (God the Father) meets us at The Shack. It's the icon of our deepest pain. p. 67

Doing what you feel obligated to do doesn't get you any points. p. 91

I want to heal the wound that has grown inside you and between us. p. 94

When all you can see is your pain, perhaps you lose sight of me. p. 98

"Jesus, I feel lost."
"I'm sorry it feels that way, but hear me clearly; you are not lost. I am with you. "p. 116

Submission isn't about authority or obedience; it's about relationships of love and respect. p.147

Knowing someone makes your love for them grow. Love is the skin of knowing. p. 157

Sometimes we grow up on the outside and we keep our monsters inside because we believe they are safer there. But the monsters are all waiting for the chance to come out. Return to God and learn to live loved. p. 177

It's extremely hard to rescue someone unless they are willing to trust you. p. 182

Where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors. p. 188

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

2009-06-14T12:28:00.007-04:00

sarayu

The Shack

It's a great book. It pushes God outside of the box we've all relegated Him to. It forces our concept of God to change-if only temporarily.

And who hasn't experienced "The Great Sadness" sometime?

Gotta read it. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Easter Me, Jesus!

2009-04-11T16:49:00.006-04:00

Show me how to live loved. In simplicity while judging no one. Show me how to give love away to all others freely. No competition, jealousy or envy. Joyful and free like the Easter Catholic I was created to be. Alleluia!

The Blood of Jesus

2009-03-16T19:28:00.002-04:00

The blood of Jesus purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7
Jesus came by water and blood, not by water only. 1 John 5:6

The Blood of Jesus
· Was on the whips that scourged Him, the ties that bound him to the scourging pillar and the ground in the scourging area
· Stuck to the Crown of Thorns and where did that Crown go?
· Dropped along the ground from the scourging site to the Hill on Calvary
· Was on the nails that pierced His Body
· Was on the sword that was thrust into His side
· Stuck to the Cross itself where Jesus was nailed
· Dripped to the ground as He hung on the Cross
· Was on Mary’s clothes during the Pieta moment
· Was washed off as they prepared Jesus’ body for burial

This blood was precious. Centuries ago when saints died it was not unusual to send the person’s limbs to various other churches where they could be reverenced. In Jesus’ case, his body was carefully buried and then rose from the dead. His blood, however, was washed away, absorbed into the ground or ignored. To those present it must have been a painful sight. It was a glaring and vivid reminder of the suffering and death of their Loved One. Today, in hospitals they try to dispose of the blood so the family members don’t have to view it. Blood depicts pain and suffering –something that must be washed quickly away. In Jesus’ case it confirmed the loss of their King, their Hope for the future; the fulfillment of the Old Testament longing. It was too much, too visual.

At the moment of death there are things to be done. One must say good-bye to the deceased as in one last hug or kiss. The body must be prepared for the burial and then, of course, the reverent placement in the tomb.
But no one, as St. Therese of Liseaux noted, paid attention to the precious blood of Jesus. In his movie, The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson depicts the post-scourging scene in which Mary frenetically tries to wipe up Jesus’ blood which lay all over the scourging area floor. Watching that scene one almost feels that Mary was hoping that if she washed away the blood she could wash away the event. Jesus’ torture would be erased. Or maybe she didn’t want Jesus’ torturers to irreverently walk all over it while laughing and cheering with each other at what they had done.

St. Therese wanted to be able to stand under the Cross in order to catch the drops that fell. I picture myself kneeling under that large killing tool called the crucifix, with a beggar’s bowl. I once saw a stained glass window in which a person reached up under each side of the “T” on the cross with a chalice. Another chalice received the blood dripping from Our Lord’s feet. In this window picture, Jesus’ face was replaced with a white round host. That’s what Eucharist is all about: the reception of the body and blood of our Lord that transforms our human bodies into replicas of His.

When the transformed wine is consumed, the heat of the alcohol can be felt as it travels down the esophagus. I look forward to feeling that. It announces Jesus’ entrance into my body. While burning away the sinful me I am transformed into the Sacred. Jesus and I become one.

Silence. Returning to my pew I am in awe. Drinking from the cup was a simple act. Did I miss the Sacrament of it all? Did it really happen? Indeed it did! Jesus is in me. Jesus transforms me. Everyone around me is singing the hymn, but honestly I cannot sing. The moment, the intimacy is too sacred. I cannot let it pass unnoticed. Silent awareness and humility are the only responses I can bring to the moment.

The priest speaks again and we all begin to walk out. The Mass is over. The aisle is crowded with Jesus because Jesus transformed the others, too. Can you see it? Can you feel His presence? The Body and Blood of our Lord and Savior has transformed this Church. We are Jesus’ hands and feet on earth.

The Mass is ended. Go in peace.

Is it pain or renewal?

2008-12-31T15:27:00.002-05:00

God calls the end times the “renewal of all things” in Mathew 19:28
“Repent then and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, that time of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Acts 3:19

What appears to be pain and sorrow has frequently in my life been the predecessor of intimacy with God. The Gospel even calls the end times a renewal. What can I endure with the knowledge of God’s presence within me and his protection surrounding me?

Don’t we get excited when we know we’ve bought or made the perfect gift for someone? We wrap it carefully and well, decorating our emotional wish to please a loved one. We present it with a smile being that sure the recipient will be pleased. If it really is as perfect the gift we thought it to be, that mutual happiness of the moment adds joy and intimacy to the relationship. Wasn’t that the purpose of the gift in the first place?

God’s packages to us aren’t always pleasantly wrapped. His gifts aren’t always fun. But gifts they are. Pain, be it emotional, physical or spiritual can sometimes be a gift depending on the way we see and appreciate it. We must accept gifts gracefully and acknowledge the Giver. Simply being a participant on this globe, of course, can impose pain. Even that pain though, is a gift and can be transformed.

So God gifts us or allows us to experience sorrow. Is it to test us? To prove us? Or like many gifts does it depend on our spirit of understanding and acceptance? Do we rebel asking such questions as “why me?” citing our honest attempts to live a decent life? Reading the lives of the saints helps me in this area the most.

St Joan of Arc
Blessed Mary of Australia
St. Louis Marie De Montfort

They were misunderstood, judged to be insane and persecuted for their Godly lives. What made them saints is their heroic degree of virtue. And Joan, Mary and St. Louis Marie De Montfort were simple human beings like us. Their prayer life, i.e. their intimacy with God in the face of trial gave them strength and courage.

Renewal of all things.
Times of refreshing from the Lord.
It does require time spent in the Lord’s presence to be able to translate pain and sorrow into renewal and refreshing. It’s barely human to be able to do that at all. Spiritual intimacy with the one who was persecuted for our sins is the only way for me.

Prayer: Jesus you know how much I really mean that. I come to you be to repaired and made whole. Re-paired that is, to be paired up with you again. Your example and your love is my strength. Thank you for ALWAYS being there.
THE SAINTS CLUB

Waiting is Hard...

2008-12-17T19:46:00.002-05:00

In the Old Testament the people waited for a Messiah. They ended up with Someone not like what they expected.
They wanted a king.
They got a pauper.
They wanted someone to reign over them.
They got someone who was killed.
They wanted Israel to become a world power.
That country has ben in political distress for centuries.
They wanted to be rescued.
Instead they were saved.

I have the same problem. It's not that I expect sunny days and smiling faces everywhere I go. But I honestly did not expect betrayal by friends and family, illness, drug overdoses, extreme poverty and work instability.
I didn't expect to have the wind knocked out of me so that I was powerless and unable to cope -more or less fix- any of this that all happened in the past 14 months.
I'm looking for a Messiah, Jesus. You understand I'm anxious and upset. You understand how hard this has all been. You have been beside me during every minute of that. I don't doubt that at all. I return to be in your daily presence in prayer seeking direction, advice, comfort.

So I know how they felt, those desert wanderers in the Old Testament. It would be easy to get distracted and start looking at the scenery or each other rather than keep our focus on you. And they waited and longed for you for generations! They couldn't read the rest of The Book and see how it all turned out. They deserve respect and admiration for hanging in there - waiting.

There's something self-emptying about all this waiting....
I have a lot to learn from those Old Testament folks.

A casket and a manger

2008-12-12T07:57:00.003-05:00

My 30 yr old nephew Tony is being buried today

Fri 12/12/08.

A casket and a manger look kind of alike.

Each one contained a person.

A box that holds a loved one.

One wrapped in swaddling clothes, the other covered with a blanket.

Both are lying there for a short while, surrounded by family and angels.

One makes sense of the other.

Our Lady of the Sign Ark of Mercy

2008-11-27T19:07:00.005-05:00

Behold, the Ark
On May 31, St. Stanislaus Kostka Parish unveiled its nine foot, hand-carved and painted iconic monstrance of Our Lady of the Sign, Ark of Mercy during a Mass on the feast of the Visitation. Cardinal George con-celebrated the Mass and blessed the new monstrance, which is believed to be the largest in the world. The monstrance will be the focal point of the future Sanctuary of Divine Mercy in the Archdiocese of Chicago.

"Mary you are the ark holding within you the jewel of the sanctuary, inviting us to adoration. You are the fountain that brings forth life giving water, inviting us to drink. You are the altar that bore the sacrifice of Him by whose blood we have been redeemed. " (Signs of the Times)
You carried Jesus in your own body and gave birth to Him. You gave Him life. I'm called to give birth to Him too, thru the witneess of my life. People should look at me and see Jesus.
Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

A message for those suffering

2008-11-12T19:39:00.008-05:00

Broken Christians hurt but they don't quit, even tho they may feel empty. They must do that because there is no one else who can sing their song. That's the song God put in that individual's heart to sing for Him. And they do that because they witness to the grace God offers, His faithfulness and His unconditional love.

Thank you Lord that I haven't been completely crushed by the heaviness in my heart or by the pounding of the surf on me, your broken shell. Thank you for the courage to live with my pain and the strength to remain faithful, a gift given to me through your grace. Amen!

(read the book: My Beautiful, Broken Shell by Carol Hambler Adams)

The Blood of Christ on the ground...

2008-11-05T22:32:00.003-05:00

St Therese of Liseaux talked about the Blood of Christ that dripped onto the ground as Jesus hung and died on the Cross. People scramble to receive relics - supposed splinters from the Cross, tiny squares of cloth worn by a saint- are first class relics. In the past a holy person's possessions and even body parts were distributed within the Church. But the blood of Jesus Christ poured out of His body and was absorbed into the ground on the day He died. St Therese thought it irreverent that no one captured that blessed liquid. The blood by which our everlasting salvation was won was soaked up by the dirt it fell upon. No one did anything about it. The soldiers didn’t care. Jesus’ Blessed Mother was absorbed by what was happening to her Son or surely she would have realized it. I imagine she wiped away the blood from the crown of thorns with her own cloak. She’d want to clearly see his face again before they wrapped and buried his body. Her cloak was stained because of that and because she cradled his dead body.

This is not a reflection of the morbid but of the precious, of the sacred and holy. It is that same blood we consume at Mass. Mass is our opportunity to show God our gratitude for the blood His Son shed out of love for us. When we receive the Body and Blood of Christ, our attentiveness to that act will indicate our respect. It’s not the time to look at other people, though the devil would surely love that we be distracted by doing that! The reception of Eucharist is our chance to make amends for the mockery of the soldiers. Jesus’ sacred blood was physically on their hands but they wiped it away. His blood freely fell to the ground – drops of salvation soaked into the dirt. As we walk up the aisle during Mass these are thoughts we can contemplate. When the minister holds the cup before us and says, “Blood of Christ” we can respectfully consume the transformed wine and imagine ourselves being covered by the blood of salvation, the blood of our Savior as we stand under the Cross.

In the dirt is not where Jesus’ blood should be. It should be in me.

When God Popped a Shirt Button With Pride

2008-10-28T19:55:00.004-04:00

When Jesus chose to be baptized by John I'm sure Jesus' Abba and he had discussed the idea ahead of time in prayer. They jointly decided it was the right thing to do. I can't imagine that God the Father's voice peeking out of the clouds was part of that plan. I think God saw his son walking thru the River toward John and could almost not contain his joy. He saw it as the beginning of his Son's public life. He knew that the world would be hearing their message of unconditional love. He wanted to burst with pride over his son. His only son, Jesus was to set the wheels in motion. Ashe saw Jesus take the step toward accomplishing their design God could contain Himself no more. Like a new father who walks out of the delivery room to shout, "It's a boy!" God the Father said, "This is my Beloved Son".

Oops, did you hear that? It was a button popping off God the Father's shirt!

That's how Jesus looks at me, too. Just because it's hard for me to imagine doesn't mean it isn't true. God loves me completely and unconditionally- warts and all. He thinks I'm beautiful (its uncomfortable to type that). He appreciates that I've tried as much as I have. He's long ago forgotten anything I did wrong because of is generous mercy. It's not about me tho- this is all about our faithful, generous and almighty God. Praise Him!

Deliver Us From Evil (Not the movie)

2008-10-19T10:27:00.003-04:00

Wherever we go, God is there to take our hand and guide us. Even in danger, God will help us to know what to do. The last petition to God the Father is also included in Jesus' prayer: "I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one." The Lord who has taken away our sins and pardons our faults also protects us and keeps us from evil. The person who entrusts her or himself to God does not dread the devil. "If God is for us, who is against us?"

When we ask to be delivered from the Evil One, we pray as well to be freed from all evils, present, past, and future. With the world in the situation that it is in right now, not just financially but also morally, let us all pray this petition to God, our Father with confidence.

And Lead Us Not Into Temptation

2008-10-14T19:53:00.001-04:00

You surely know what it’s like to be tempted so you know what you’re praying about here! Your own personal experience let you know we need to pray this prayer. When you had not eaten in 40 days the devil offered you bread. He does that to me all the time. When I’m on my last thread of energy and overwhelming crises occurs. Maybe it’s not a crisis; maybe it’s just an acquaintance who is terribly annoying. Maybe I’ve decided to fast and my co-workers go out to lunch that day or my girlfriends want to go out to eat. Maybe my prayer that day was full of good intentions and shortly afterwards I get impatient and angry with someone. It could even be that I go to my prayer space and do everything else but communicate with you Lord. That’s a regular one. The evil one seems to like to distract me from you. Well, of course he does. The potential is great for him. Without your strength I’m nothing. Without food from you I’ll stay hungry. Without your grace I’m empty. He’d like that- and so I pray:
Help me in those situations Lord God, please. I don’t want to ruin this. I honestly do want to do the right thing by you. I sincerely with to be used by you for your purpose, not mine. A wasted life for me would be serving my own needs and wants.
I have only one lifetime in which to love you. I really do want to love you through it all...through the everyday of it. So please, Lord, share with me the strength you had in the desert when the devil offered you bread and you resisted. Lead me not into temptation. Lead us all to you!

As We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us

2008-10-06T10:05:00.001-04:00

After 10 years of friendship I was betrayed, misunderstood and cut off. I was eliminated from my former friend’s life overnight. Although it occurred almost 1 year ago I still do not understand what happened at all.
Then a family member became hostile and aggressive.
Then a co-worker practically destroyed our program that was designed to help others.
All this happened at the same time. I was devastated. I am hurt. I didn’t initiate any of these situations but I was feeling their effect.
But when I pray this phrase - as we forgive those who trespass against us- I’m asking Jesus to forgive my own sins in proportion to the way I forgive others. I’m having trouble with this. I KNOW I’ve sinned and need forgiveness and God doesn’t deserve to be treated the way I’ve treated him. It breaks my heart to think I’ve treated Him poorly after all He has done for me. No friend deserves to be treated that way, but Jesus deserves much more.
But my former friend treated me poorly. My family member did worse that that. The co-worker’s actions made my daily job miserable for 10 months and it’s still difficult. All this happened at the same time. Surely Jesus doesn’t expect me to forgive them while I’m in such pain…and when they were intentionally hurtful…but so was I. I was intentionally self-willed when I sinned. Sin is a deliberate choice, by definition. That’s what I do when I’m demanding, angry or impatient. God will forgive me when I forgive them.
WOW. You strike a hard bargain Jesus. Sometimes you have to pretend you feel something and act that way until you feel it. And sometimes you have to pray for the forgiveness of others and believe it happened though you may not yet feel it. It has been said that your emotions eventually catch up with your actions. So today, my Lord, I forgive my angry friend because you asked me to. For the same reason I forgive (with the help of your grace) my family member and co-worker. That doesn’t mean I can be in their presence tomorrow as though all is well. I’m just doing what you asked me to do and hoping you’ll allow my heart to catch up soon. I do want to follow your will! I know I’m feeding into the devil’s plan if I don’t forgive and I don’t ever want to be the cause of that. I’ll accept whatever graces you give me in this regard Jesus! Forgive my sins to the degree that my forgiveness of others is sincere.

And Forgive Us Our Trespasses

2008-10-01T18:25:00.004-04:00

Yes Lord, we know we’ve sinned. That’s not a question. It’s obvious. We are –all of us- selfish proud sinners. Once in a while our sinfulness brings us to our knees and shames us. We walk past a beautiful big green lawn that has a ‘do not trespass’ sign on it and we intentionally stomp across that lawn. We play touch football on that lawn. We ride our bikes around the sign. We don’t care about the lawn or the sign or the owner of the property. We want what we want when we want it.
How do you bear with us Lord? You gave us everything we need and asked us only to obey 10 Commandments. In return we intentionally ignore your request. Periodically we ask –or you tell us- how we are doing. You give us a glimpse of our own sinfulness. It’s just plain ugly Jesus! In the face of your generosity there are no other words to describe our willfulness. So we beg you Lord, please forgive us our trespasses. Show us your mercy though we do not deserve it. We act like we know it all and we don’t. We think we’re in charge and we’re not. We are willful and obstinate while you are nothing but merciful and patient. Please have mercy on us Lord.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

2008-09-25T19:04:00.002-04:00

…Because I can’t buy it or barter for it and I don’t have it. Out of your generosity please give it to us all because we live in spiritual emptiness. Our daily bread – that which we need to live. Give us only what will sustain us. Don’t give us the desert or an appetizer but don’t let us stay hungry and weak. With your grace, help us to be stronger.
Today’s bread may be the gift of joy or new hope. If I need correction today that may be the bread you give me Lord. I know I’m spiritually hungry and weak. Nothing on this earth can sustain me. I’m not asking for complete satisfaction of all my needs, only for enough grace for today.
Please.

As It Is In Heaven

2008-09-20T21:17:00.000-04:00

Before Adam and Eve’s sin earth was like heaven. Your will was done in both. But we have continued along their path. The more we sin the more dissimilar earth and heaven become. This prayer asks that we, your people, return to our original state of grace Lord. That we –like Adam and Eve- appreciate our garden and thank you for it. That we renew our sense of wonder and of being in the moment. This phrase symbolizes our return to humility, simplicity and innocence. If we did that, as your obedient children, your will would be done. Earth would look more like heaven.

Thy Will Be Done on earth

2008-09-11T19:38:00.002-04:00

…But we preferred our own will to ours. The design was altered during our implementation of the plan. My sinfulness, willfulness, selfishness caused the alterations. Now that things have gone so far awry it’s almost hard to remember the original intent. I get very preoccupied with my own needs in this life and I forget my role in your Big Picture. When I pray for your will to be done on earth, I’m praying that you work in me, through me, around me to make this earth conform to your original design. I’m praying that you teach me how to make you priority #1 so that my actions and thought are more like yours. Whatever it takes Lord, your will be done. Your will be done on earth means I want you to ignore my preferences, my requests and demands. Just ignore them. I will embrace a stance of nothingness. I’ll have no preferences, no disappointments, and no plans. That’s not an easy prayer Lord! And yet how often have I prayed it? Only with your grace Lord, may I get to the point at which self indulgence is not in my thoughts.

Thy Kingdom Come

2008-09-07T18:39:00.002-04:00

If we each and all did the ‘right thing’ our world would look different. Earth would be more heaven-like. It would be the way you envisioned it, Jesus. Your design would become a true creation

Hallowed Be Thy Name

2008-09-03T19:20:00.002-04:00

freechristianposters.com

Even your name should be held holy…like everything else about you. You should be completely adored, praised and appreciated. Because of how patient you are with us- because of your mercy on us –because of your unconditional love for us. The degree of all these things is something only a God can do. Why do you keep doing it despite our lack of response? Our lack of gratitude? It’s beyond my ability to fathom. Only God could love us despite our sinfulness. And so I praise you God for this extreme generosity! I wish more people could appreciate you better – including myself. You are holy. You are sacred. Your mother on earth was born sinless. Your foster father was a quiet, humble, obedient and faithful man. The relationship between your true Father and you evokes a Holy Spirit making an unrepeatable Trinity. You heal the sick, forgive sins, taught us through the Scriptures and gave us your very own Body and Blood as spiritual food. Yes Lord, You are holy!

OUR Father...

2008-08-28T19:56:00.006-04:00

Father
A parent who teaches, guides, directs, instructs, disciplines, loves, plays with and protects his children. Our Father wants his siblings to get along. Do we need a crises to do that?
If I believed my mailman and the super market check out person were my siblings they’d no longer be strangers or mere acquaintances. We’d have a connection. I’d look at them differently and treat them with more understanding and appreciation. We have the same Parent who is God.
Wouldn’t our Father be happy about that?

Our...
All of ours; meaning rapists, thieves, murderers, people who physically, financially or emotionally hurt others; people who sell drugs or give AIDS to others intentionally. It also means saints, the Blessed Mother, Jesus, the people I see in church, priests, nuns, co-workers...We all have the same Parent and He is God.
If we all have the same Father then we are all siblings. My dentist - although he's Jewish, my neighbor - who is a non church going former something-or-other, the parking lot attendant who barely speaks English. God connects us all even if they aren't aware of it. We are all siblings. True, siblings battle each other. But if there was a crisis they'd defend each other. As Americans we have a tendency to rally 'round a cause. If the parking lot attendant's 3 yr old daughter had cancer, for example, I'd be very kind to him, speak words of encouragement, contribute to a collection, offer him my prayers....If I knew. In this sibling situation however, I might never know. But it still may be true that his daughter is sick. We all walk around like that - never knowing what our siblings may be enduring.

Let Go

2008-08-18T20:04:00.002-04:00

“A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day the seed sprouts and grows tho he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain.” Mark 4:28
The growth of the Kingdom is ultimately in God’s hands.

If I thought that by buying or planting the seed I owned the seed and I could force it to make what I wanted it to make I’d certainly be wrong. All I did was put God’s creation in a certain place. All by itself the seed does what it does. In this case, all the man did was to scatter the seed on the ground and collect what it grew. He probably presumed he grew the resulting fruit.
This says to me….Let Go. Do what you’re supposed to do and step back. Don’t take credit for the fruit produced. Its God’s creation. Relax. The growth is ultimately in God’s hands. Whether we’re talking about zucchini, relationships or the kingdom of God on earth that will still be true~

The Assumption is God saying...

2008-08-14T07:59:00.002-04:00

Mary's body was assumed into heaven. Her body is not on earth and it did not decay. Our souls go to heaven after death for judgement, but our bodies decay in the earth. Jesus did not want that for his mother. She was special, holy, sacred. It is not fitting that her body would decay. She deserved something more, better than the rest of us. Jesus wanted her with him and so she is - whole and entire. It was not a wish of Mary's nor her request. Neither was her pregnancy with Jesus nor watching her Son be tortured and killed. Mary's whole "thing" was about allowing God to have his will done thru her - even to the manner of her final resting place. She turned her will over to him. She allowed God to be in control. Doing that reaped an eternal reward for her and blessed us all.
The Assumption is God saying_
I couldn't wait another moment to have you here with me, Mary!

on Padre Pio

2008-07-27T11:52:00.006-04:00

I read a biographical story about Padre Pio and really wanted to share some of that with you. It's amazing stuff! The piece was written by John McCaffery and edited by John J. Delaney in his book entitled Saints Are Now.

Different people may give varying interpretations of the phenomena which took place in that little monastery to make it a world beacon; but about the phenomena themselves there can be no doubt, for they were witnessed, sifted, and experienced in their effects by large numbers of intelligent persons. ...The Church authorities were so reluctant to accept their authenticity that for ten entire years, in the fear that they were manifestations of autosuggestion, hysteria, deliberate deception or even diabolical possession, Padre Pio was cut off from outside contact, even by letter, and he was not allowed to confess penitents or to say Mass in public.
An eminent Roman physician, last of those entrusted with a medical examination of Padre Pio's stigmata, had begun as a contemptuous unbeliever in the seriousness of what he had been asked to investigate. But in more than 200 pages covering a 2 year period he gave a detailed account of his experiments to find a humanly explicable cause for those stigmata, and ended with a confession of failure and the conclusion that their origin and continuance could be described only to benignly preternatural intervention. He became a devoted disciple of the man whose wounds and whose psychology he had coldly, methodically, and often most harshly probed.
My own conversion came only when I reluctantly consented to go down to San Giovanni with an old friend and meet the man himself. It was the nearest thing I could imagine to meeting Christ; and in his presence all the reluctance and quasi-hostility fell away, and all the incredible phenomena became easily and even logically acceptable.
After Padre Pio joined the monastery he was found unconscious one day before the crucifix in the church gallery, where the friars conducted their community prayers and where he himself went often to pray and meditate. To his intense embarrassment, he and the friar who helped him to his cell discovered that his hands an feet were completely transfixed and bleeding. And these wounds, as well as another in his side leading to the heart, bled continuously and freshly as though newly inflicted for all of 50 years, disappearing gradually only some few weeks before his death.
For 50 years he bore the sufferings described, walking around on pierced feet and using those pierced and agonizing hands, he ate as much daily as would sustain a bird - generally a forkful of vegetables or pasta - and this because he was constrained by obedience to join the other friars at the noon meal. His drinking too was absolutely minimal; and I think it would be fair to say that the strongest of ordinary men would have died of exhaustion, malnutrition, anaemia and dehydration within a matter of months.
Most of all he spent long and strenuous hours every day, every week, every month, every year, without break or relaxation, in the confessional.
He built a hospital and at its inauguration, which I attended was scheduled an international cardiological conference. None of the famous attendees was a Catholic but all of them were deeply and sincerely impressed at the saintly man behind it all. Paul White, most courteous of men, was so moved that on greeting Padre Pio with the rest of his colleagues I remember he finished his little congratulatory speech with the uncharacteristically gauche phrase..."and congratulations Father, on your wounds." !
Miracles poured out from San Giovanni which is to say those worked through his intercession upon other people. They were innumerable; and as well as having been myself healed of serious cardiac and circulatory ills, I saw a number of the more striking miracles at close quarters.
Padre Pio had appeared to a man at his home near Florence and reprimanded him severely for his drunken ill treatment of his wife. Incredulous the man stubbornly drove all the way down to the little monastery in a spirit of disbelief and challenge, and had soon found himself upon his knees in Padre Pio's confessional. He left it one of Padre Pio's most loyal and constant devotees.
Another ex-communist I met at San Giovanni was former editor of the newspaper. To him Padre Pio had appeared when he was in the act of committing suicide and taking his little daughter with him. After that the man said " what binds me to Padre Pio is his tremendous Christ likeness."
Fr. Dominic also lived at San Giovanni. Not only had Padre Pio cured him of cancer; he had assisted Father Dominic's father in bi location on his deathbed in Milwaukee.
One man had been born blind with eyes so eaten by disease that they looked like shrivelled dried peas in his head. Those same eyes, perfectly reformed by Padre Pio, were now regarding me across the desk. But there was an interesting insert to his story.
When he implored Padre Pio to pray that his sight might be restored he had added "even if it be only from one eye." When he returned 3 weeks later, weeping with joy and to thank his benefactor for the incredible transformation, he was asked, "And so you now see again perfectly?" "Yes," he replied, "from this eye, not from the other one." Padre Pio shook his head reproachfully. "Let that be a lesson for you," he said. "Never put limitations on God. Always ask for the big grace."
There were, too, happenings which seemed at first so outlandish that, even with all the evidence of the miraculous which I had witnessed or experienced, they appeared to me to be pure legend. I am thinking especially of the story of Padre Pio's appearing in the sky during the last war and turning back an American bombing mission due to drop its bombs near San Giovanni's rotundo. I took this story to be herioc folklore in the making - until the day I met the leader of the squadron personally. It was no legend; it was just another of these facts of which I have now been attempting to convince other people, and he recounted it to Lord Eldon, lord in waiting to Queen Elizabeth, when they met in a rail compartment on their journey from Rome to San Giovanni.

http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/PadrePio.pdf

Two Wolves

2008-07-05T20:24:00.001-04:00

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, forgiveness, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

2 Desperate Women

2008-06-28T10:43:00.002-04:00

A woman and a sick woman at that. A real outcast at that time. She’d gone everywhere to get help. It had been 12 years and that’s an eternity if you’re hemorrhaging. She’s lucky she lived that long. Today she might have been hospitalized, put on IV to replenish her fluids and eventually she’d have a hysterectomy. But then she was avoided and she just continued to get weaker. Every year she deteriorated more. She must have known she could not do this much longer. She’d been to see whoever she could see about it. There was nothing anyone else could do.
D E S P E R A T E
Maybe she’d been desperate for months. Maybe she felt herself get physically weaker. She might have begun to give up until she heard about Jesus. She heard how he had raised the widow’s son to life and how he had cured the centurion’s daughter. The widow and the daughter were both females. “Surely someone who could raise a person back to life would help me.” That’s the day she determined to find him. She heard the stories from the town’s people and she kept track of his travels. Large crowds were following him so the tracking was easy. Following was a bit harder in her weakened condition but her need drove her onward. She felt a great excitement on the day when she finally caught a glimpse of him through the crowd. Silently she argued with herself. How would she get through the dense gathering of people clamoring for his attention? What would she say when she finally got to that point where she could address him? This was a determined woman. After all those years of illness all that struggle to finally catch up to him, nothing was going to deter her now. Her desperation was that great and her belief that Jesus would be the one to help her was that strong.
She dug in and nudged her way through. Shoulder to shoulder, one person at a time. She overheard conversations as she went. The widow’s son, a sermon he had given, who his apostles were. “Do you think he’s really a Son of God?” some asked. She could see him now. Her heart rate went up. Just a few more rows of people to go. She knew she was doing the right thing. She knew she’d never get to speak to him but she reasoned it wasn’t even necessary. All she’d have to do is….
And she touched the fringe on his cloak. For a few short seconds she held on to it. He didn’t even see her because she was behind him. That’s OK.

12 years
No help
No where else to go
Her last hope

She felt the fabric of his fringe.
That was all she needed.

For me it’s not been 12 years Jesus- not even 12 months. My stress started on 9-16-07. And I need you, too. My head has been doing a lot of work to reason out the problems. My heart has found a way to protect itself from pain by avoiding stressors. So I manage until my heart is forced to deal with an issue for some reason. I’m weak. I need to depend on you, reach out to you, and feel your presence. I want my heart to feel you nearby. I feel like I’m walking through the crowd to get to touch you. In this case it’s a crowd of thoughts and activities though. I need my heart and my mind to be very still and willing to feel. I avoid that in a self protective kind of way. (I’m actually the opposite of the woman with the hemorrhage. I’m emotionally cold and all closed up.) But Jesus, I am hurting. I’m in emotional pain and need you beside me. I’ll deal with it. I’m OK if this is your plan for me right now. I’m not asking you to take it away. I only want to occasionally feel you beside me. Problem is, if I feel you then I can feel everything and that leads me to depression. I comfort myself in knowing that you know what I’m experiencing and that I am doing your will. It’s a knowledge, not a feeling though. It suffices. I guess I’m looking to you for a comfort connection.
Oddly the woman with the hemorrhage wants to feel too – to touch you so she could be healed. She did reach out and “immediately her bleeding stopped. “ Luke 8:44
Jesus’ response was “Who touched me? I know that power has gone out from me.” Verses 45 and 46.
I’m reaching out too Jesus. Not many people know what I’m going through. I’ve sought help from professionals like the woman did. The situation just keeps evolving. There’s no where else for me to turn for emotional strength. I’m reaching for you through the crowd. Reaching out to you for emotional support and for the strength to endure. Life remains busy all around me. I need to get through it in order to reach you, to touch the fringe of your cloak.
When I reach you emotionally – one day when I can- I want to hear the same sentence, “Who touched me? I know power has gone out from me.”
For now I move toward you and hope that my frozen heart melts one day so I can feel your touch again. Your will be done.

Self Confidence: A Delicate Balance

2008-06-22T20:43:00.004-04:00

"St Paul had confidence in the message he preached because it was the message of the person Jesus Christ. 2Tim 1:12 His confidence, like ours, should not be in ourselves but in the person we believe in. This makes us humble but confident servants. If we find ourselves saying, "I" too much, we may be lacking the humility of a servant of Jesus. If we found ourselves doubting His care for us or doubting the truth of His teaching we may be lacking in confidence. It's a delicate balance.

We find our strength in the person of Jesus and our prayer relationship with him. "

Words of Wisdom from Cardinal Rigali of Philadelphia PA written in the Catholic Standard and Times June 5, 2008.

my p.s. : a little humility every now and then doesn't hurt

Is This My Home?

2008-06-14T21:26:00.002-04:00

1 Peter 1:17 “Live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.” If I live as a stranger on this earth I can expect to feel different from everyone who considers this their home. They’d be comfortable and I would not be. To the degree that I feel welcomed I am not a stranger. My home is not here, but I am on a journey toward it. I should expect to be misunderstood and misjudged. If I, an American female in NJ, suddenly moved to India everything would be different for me. Basics like food and climate would be readily observed. But other things like government processes, cultural norms, status of females, work styles and economy would be vastly different, too.
If in this life I am a stranger, then many accepted customs should seem foreign to me. Drug use, crime, lack of respect for life, competition, definition of success are examples of such. None of these would be easily understood, more or less accepted in my personal life. If I “live my life as a stranger in reverent fear” then I live counter culturally. I don’t incorporate myself into those norms but rebel against them. My rebellion would take the form of life in an opposite style.
Remember the prayer of St. Francis? Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is hatred, love. I wonder about how much of a stranger I am perceived to be. If my life evidences counter cultural practices I am living in reverent fear and I can expect to feel unwelcome.

I am on a journey only.
My Home is not here.

Where Is God When You Need Him?

2008-06-09T19:07:00.001-04:00

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage? His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man! Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him. If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, perhaps you took off your blindfold before dawn.
Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.

On Accepting Myself

2008-06-04T19:19:00.002-04:00

Here' what I'm learning these days. It's about letting go. I do my best and let it go. I do what I can and let it go. It actually sounds logical and fairly simple. You can only do what you can do, right? You wouldn't expect a cow to sing. You wouldn't expect a tree to fly. They each have limitations and so do I. Humility is being able to accept my own weaknesses. I must "bear serenely the trial of being displeasing to myself." To St. Therese that's the definition of holiness. To me it's been the definition of failure. With God's grace I'm moving from defining it as a failure to defining it as holiness...or at least humility. I'm learning slowly how to accept my own limitations.

Being Jesus' Twin

2008-05-20T20:42:00.005-04:00

ourHumbleGod.jpg

I need to look and act more like you, Jesus. Show me just for today how I can make better choices so people see you instead of me. It's about looking at one person and seeing another. When you look at Susie you don't see Joey. When you look at twins Donny and Johnny you might mistake one for the other. So I have to become your twin on earth. We do have the same Father, after all. I have to learn how to finish your thoughts, enjoy the same things you enjoy (sorry, but we're not going to dress alike. I don't do togas and robes!) I have to feel like you though and not just look like you or sound like you. You forgave the soldiers on Calvery. I have to forgive a friend who betrayed me causing me pain and tears. You preached about your Father, about prayer, and about heaven. I need to be willing and eager to evangelize - not a traditional passtime for Catholics.

If I am to be your twin I really need to read your inspiried Biography - the Bible. I need to soak in every word, delve deep into each passage that describes you and imagine each scenario. Then I can put myself somewhere in the middle of each scene with you. If I'm comfortable doing that I can move onto the next step - replacing you and your words in each scene with myself and my own words. That might be feasible while we're looking at Bible scenes, Jesus. But what about today's work scenarios? Today if Maggie doesn't do her job thoroughly then I won't be able to finish my part of the report and my boss won't get it in time.

So if you were me what would you do Jesus?

This twin thing could be hard. Anyone got ideas?

Let's not give satan hope...

2008-05-14T19:20:00.001-04:00

For me, sin is feeling tired and being short with people. It’s being impatient with lots of questions. It’s resentment toward drivers who are too slow or who cut in front of me. It’s about allowing my own schedule, To Do List, fears or problems distract me from giving attention to others.

Sin is a choice. A preference for being angry over being like Jesus. I make a clear decision to be more like satan than like Jesus. Every time I make that choice satan grows. His hope gets brighter. I don’t have to turn my whole life over to him – just one minute of the day at a time. One action at a time. One person at a time. Satan is that sneaky and he knows its that simple. He knows I won’t make a blatant choice to become a devil worshipper or to murder anyone. So he works on my last nerve to try to sway me.
But I know every moment of every day offers me a choice. The sum of all those choices is my life.

Jesus, I only have one lifetime in which to love you. Help me make right choices today.

Sin Is A Choice

2008-05-08T17:45:00.001-04:00

Me over Jesus
Darkness over Light
Evil over Good
Selfishness over generosity
My feelings over the feelings of others

Sin is a choice
Now instead of forever
Immediate gratification instead of eternal reward
The easy way instead of the better way
Pleasing self instead of thinking of others

Sin is decision to fuel satan’s power, giving him my approval to keep up his pursuit of me. It gives him hope that one day I may fall. Fall down to him. Fall to honor him.

Jesus, help me please!

visual holiness 3

2008-05-02T21:31:00.003-04:00

Our_Humble_God

Seraphin Gallery

visual holiness 2

2008-05-02T21:27:00.007-04:00

JesusAtPrayer.jpg

longing
monstrance2[1]

visual holiness

2008-04-29T20:26:00.008-04:00

holiness_jpg

hands.jpg
050417Holycrossmaryin rocks

Alice_takula_prayer

Using another sense to praise God and His Creation~ join me!

Power over satan!

2008-04-22T19:43:00.002-04:00

Walking along the path of life doing my thing. It’s a very simple thing. Feels like it’s not of great consequences in the Big Scheme of Things. (Is that the first attack?) I trip over my doubt and get distracted by the trip. Then I move on.

Walking along I resume use of my talents. While doing so I make a public mistake. It’s one that might cause others to question my aptitude to be a good example to others. I get concerned about my ability to do this well. Eventually I accept God’s grace and can move forward on the path again.

While on the path I get distracted by the pretty colors of the flowers and stop to pick one to keep for myself. After all, I’ve been on the path a while. I deserve some enjoyment, don’t I? So I sit down, rest from my journey and look around to see what else might be here for me to take. Some fruit? Maybe some colorful feathers birds have discarded. I could fill up my extra water jug. All these things are pleasant in themselves, but when I concentrate on them and not The Plan, satan wins.

Once as I was following God’s plan for the path of my life I was attacked. It was a physical attack and I was hurt. My pain replaced my plan. I could not move forward and I became sad. My physical attack was compounded by an emotional one. As I cried I wondered why God would abandon me like this.

The devil rejoiced. The ultimate success was a spiritual attack. That’s exactly where I was. My friends encouraged me. I barely listened. I thought my struggle was too big for any human to fix. I turned to Scripture. Speak to me, God! Help me, Jesus! Please.

Luke 10: 19
Romans 8:37

Jesus, do you mean that all along I had the power? Power over distractions and doubt? Power over pain and self pity? It was with me the whole time?
I kept re reading the passages from Jesus. I can trample serpents. They should be afraid of me and not vice versa. I have more power than the devil himself! He can’t MAKE me get distracted or feel powerless. HE can’t MAKE me feel self pity or loneliness. I am more than a conqueror over him and all his ways. It’s not just a win, it’s an easy win. Score 1,000 to 0. Not a chance. And I don’t have to write a letter or make a phone call to ask for help. It’s within me. Power and authority from God himself is what I’ve got in me.

I don’t have to concentrate on kicking the devil to the curb, tho I could if I wanted. All I have to do is ignore him. Don’t give him the attention he needs and craves. It’s food for him. Well he’s not getting it from me. I’ll not feed into his plan. It will shrivel away from starvation and neglect.

My strength is in the Lord. It’s in his word. It’s in his Food- the Bread of Life. That’s my mantra. The name of the munchkin in the red suit isn’t mentioned. Like the car keys I was looking for that were in my pocket all along. The eyeglasses I searched for were right on top of my head. I’ve had power and authority from the Lord all the time. I can either use it or let it atrophy like an unused muscle.

Luke 10:19 “I have given you authority and power.” I just need to believe it to be victorious.

What I Can Do!

2008-04-13T16:24:00.002-04:00

“I’ve heard God’s voice. It is the never interrupted voice of love speaking from eternity and giving life and love whenever it is heard. When I hear that voice I know that I am home with God and have nothing to fear. As the Beloved of my heavenly Father I can ‘walk in the valley of darkness; no evil would I fear’. As the Beloved, I can ‘cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out devils’. Having ‘received without charge’ I can ‘give without charge.’ As the Beloved I can confront, console, admonish and encourage without fear of rejection or need for affirmation. As the Beloved I can suffer persecution without desire for revenge and receive praise without using it as proof of my goodness. As the Beloved I can be tortured and killed without ever having to doubt that the love that is given to me is stronger than death. As the Beloved I am free to live and give life, free also to die while giving life. “
From The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen.

Always Have Hope

2008-04-07T19:05:00.004-04:00

www.ccrcinc.org

That’s what children do. They believe and hope despite indications to the contrary. Jesus said, “Unless you become like little children you cannot enter heaven.” So instead of noticing problems I will act like I’m God’s child. He’ll take care of it. I’m not going to worry about it. He knows I don’t know how to fix it anyway. “Do you think Bill Gates’ daughter worries when her computer doesn’t work?” (Max Lucado) I’ve always be spoiled by God in the past. I’ve never had to walk on water. Jesus always did that for me. I’ve never had to know all the answers. My Father is the teacher so when the questions come up I just need to go to Him. I can say UNCLE or I can say JESUS – either way I have to just surrender. I need to remain innocent and uncomplicated. No plotting or planning. No crying or whining.

It’s really very freeing to be an innocent child. All I have to do is stay close to my Father!

I WAS Dead.

2008-04-01T19:40:00.001-04:00

Jesus, did you just sort of “wake up” lying in that tomb?

Your eyes flutter open but your face is covered. To move that covering your hands have to reach up. But your fingers and your nose tell you other things cover your body. Instinctively you try to move your hand up toward your face to move the cloth. Now you smell the myrrh – a smell your life began with 33 years ago. Your hand moves the cloth and fragrances away from your eyes and mouth. As you do that your hand feels tightness to it and to open your palm fully requires a stretching motion. Finally you’ve cleared your face with the help of your second hand. That hand too required that you stretch your fingertips wide to relieve the tautness of the spread.

It’s dark inside the tomb so you don’t see the scars on your palms but as you begin to awaken you also begin to remember. You remember the smell of those same fragrances from your visit to Lazarus’ tomb. Your now outstretched hand brings the scene back. The darkness that covers you confirms the memory. I was dead.

As you lie there you try to collect your thoughts.

I was dead.

The nails went through these same hands. I remember the hammer coming toward my hands and feet. The memories are all rushing back now.

The spear went through my side, Jesus recalled. Instinctively he reached to touch it. A healed scar replaced the torn flesh. And as he tried to lift his head, a smile began to grow ever so slightly on one side of his mouth. I was dead.

No crown of thorns on his head now as Jesus tries to hoist his upper body into a seated position. Buds, plants and flowers all trickle and fall away and Jesus removes the cloth that had once covered his face and body.

Seated upright his eyes try to focus and he turns his head to see where they placed his once lifeless body. The tiny smile begins to broaden into a grin. “Oh Father!” He had been buried and placed in someone’s tomb. It was someone else’s tomb because Jesus never had on for himself. Did he think he’d never need one? But he didn’t have his own house, either. “The Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” (Luke 9:57-58)

“Father” Only one word. After all the experiences of the past three days the only word Jesus could bring himself to speak was “Father”. In that word alone was the full realization of what happened. The union of the two in that one word was like a meteor hitting the earth. The Father, who had been watching his Son’s body return to life as closely as he watched him be scourged, crucified and die, spoke his son’s name. “Jesus!” The strength of their love for one another was spoken in those single words. It was as though a huge surprise party was about to take place and only they knew about it. Jesus’ heart began to pound. He was suddenly anxious to remove himself from the tomb entirely. (Did Lazarus feel like this?”) He place two scarred but strong feet on the ground and reached his head and arms to heaven. He couldn’t wait to meet his beloved Father. He wanted to hug him, give his Abba a big, hearty pat on the back and say, “We did it! It’s done!” Instinctively he knew that would have to wait.
He looked for the entrance to the place where he had lain. Feeling around the walls which surrounded him, Jesus came upon the big stone that stood in the way between him and The Revelation. He would not have it. He could not have a stone between himself and his disciples, his mother, redemption, his Father. No stone would do that. No simple earthly stone was going to stand in his way.
Facing the stone Jesus looked up to heaven and repeated the same word, “Father!” He places his two scarred hands on the boulder blocking Jesus’ entrance into new life and it moved, slowly at first, out of his way.

No stone.
No nails.
No devil.
No death.
Nothing could stop him.
Nothing did.

As the stone rolled away so did the night. The stone was gone, darkness and sin were gone, evil and death were gone. Day broke through and with it Light, Salvation and Redemption. It was a moment of celebration for Father and Son. The grin on Jesus’ face was replaced with a huge smile. The smile erupted into a hearty laugh. “We did it. It’s done!” Jesus tilts back his head and laughs into the sky. “Father, we’ve won! Heaven has come. The doors are open wide so all can join us! Yeah!”

Jesus catches his breath, his heart pounding with excitement. He looks around one last time before he begins the final phase of his journey. Not too far away he sees the image of three empty crosses. Although it was a sobering view, his gaze then turned to the empty tomb behind him. Empty. Cloth on the ground. Stone rolled away. Empty.

Jesus then begins to walk toward his future and ours.

Be Joyful, Christian!

2008-03-24T12:06:00.003-04:00

Enneagram #7 I just found out that I’m a #7. I guess that’s why the following phrase strikes me.

“I do not deny the darkness. I choose not to live in it.”

-Henri Nouwen

My life as a Christian should be joyful. I am perfectly loved. I have been forgiven everything I’ve done wrong. I have a ticket to heaven eventually. I was created by a Master Artist so my inner design is inherently beautiful. I have a confidant available at my beck and call 24/7 so I never need to feel alone. I have a role model and mentor who wrote down how He handled every situation in life so I’d know how to handle mine. My Beloved is so attentive that He leaves me reminders of His presence in everyone and everything around me. I just have to make sure to be attentive to these graces. His Father and Mother are equally available and giving.
So if my strength turns to weakness or my vision gets blurry or if I become anxious, all I have to do is run to Him and surrender all that. Like the prodigal son [Luke 15” 11-32] I have a Father who is anticipating my return and ready to celebrate it in a big way.

Jesus I am grateful for your gifts and your love. I pray for all those who live with blurred vision- including myself at times. I praise you God! Alleluia!

He Is Risen!

2008-03-21T21:24:00.005-04:00

By He Qi, China

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Palm Sunday

2008-03-15T15:40:00.012-04:00

Luke19HeadingSm.jpg

I used to hate Palm Sunday because I thought the Bible story described people who'd become hypocrites. They were throwing palm branches and praising God one day and shouting for his death the next. But that wasn't hypocrisy that was just humanity being fickle. Like me those people were unpredictable. They praised the Lord on Sunday, denied Him on Thursday and begged for His murder on Friday. They are influenced by their peers while in the crowd facing Pilate. They feared for their own safety. They were happy when they were healed and got their own needs met. Palm Sunday is the date that humanity's weakness is recognized; its unpredictability and its flightiness. And when I say humanity I mean myself.

A true disciple is faithful and constant and willing to die to self. A true disciple will trust that God has a plan and that His Big Picture is a beautiful scene. I need to decide whether I want to be a member of the crowd, a casual observer or a true disciple.

Always Have Hope

2008-03-11T19:41:00.001-04:00

That’s what children do. They believe and hope despite indications to the contrary. Jesus said, “Unless you become like little children you cannot enter heaven.” So instead of noticing problems I will act like I’m God’s child. He’ll take care of it. I’m not going to worry about it. He knows I don’t know how to fix it anyway. “Do you think Bill Gates’ daughter worries when her computer doesn’t work?” (Max Lucado) I’ve always be spoiled by God in the past. I’ve never had to walk on water. Jesus always did that for me. I’ve never had to know all the answers. My Father is the teacher so when the questions come up I just need to go to Him. I can say UNCLE or I can say JESUS – either way I have to just surrender. I need to remain innocent and uncomplicated. No plotting or planning. No crying or whining.
It’s really very freeing to be an innocent child. All I have to do is stay close to my Father!

Litany of the Dust

2008-03-02T18:11:00.004-05:00

For those who have betrayed us...Father, forgive them.
for those who have let us down...(Repeat: Father, forgive them.)
for those who have been indifferent to us...
for those who have tried to cripple our lives...
for those who have doubted us...
for those who have accused us...
for those who have preferred others to us...
for family members who have hurt us...
for friends who have denied us...
for those who have walked away from us...

For my own self pity...Father, forgive me.
for my lukewarmness...(Repeat: Father, forgive me.)
for my times of despair and distrust...
for my refusals to be hugged...
for my disbelief in your love...
for my searchings everywhere but in your heart...
for apologies frozen on my lips...
for my words of love unspoken...
for my kisses and embraces ungiven...
for compliments never offered...
for a heart closed in self-centeredness...
for my own unforgiving postures...
for not believing in your forgiveness...

O Jesus, you who offered forgiveness to so many---to Mary, theCrippled Man, the Good Thief---who said that you came to give life and shed your blood "for the forgiveness of sins," forgive us our sins. Not only the obvious ones, but especially the unnoticed ones of pride, righteousness, self-hate and the refusal to be loved.Take our very selves and wash them in that unconditional love of yours, for you are a God of mercy and compassion, you who live and love forever and ever. Amen

Body and Blood

2008-02-26T20:29:00.003-05:00

You teach us how to be at peace by trusting in you. You gave the example in Gethsemane. “Your will be done, Father.” After that surrendering prayer you remained calm. You didn’t struggle or resist. You allowed those whom you created to torture you because you needed to show us how much you love us. There is so much to learn from the example you gave us. The world cannot contain your goodness. We humans do a poor job of being your reflection. I thank you for your Word, which instructs us, and to which we can always turn for guidance. So generous of you to leave us with something we can pour over and reflect on.

I thank you too my very giving Lord for allowing us to connect with you so intimately by consuming your very Body and Blood. How much closer could you allow us to be? So simple these gifts are but so immensely profound an act – to eat your Body and Blood in bread and wine; thereby becoming one with you. Divinity and humanity co-mingling. Is that allowed? Can it be done? Do Kings share their lives with paupers? Only in You, my God. You are glorious and worthy of all praise and thanks.

The Prodigal Son

2008-02-20T19:27:00.007-05:00

www.masters-gallery.com/03_Artists

I've been reading the book by Henri Nouwen called: The Return of the Prodigal Son. The Father loved both the younger and older son equally and unconditionally. His love was not dependent on their behavior. Somedays I act like the younger son and search for happiness someplace other than my Father's house. Somedays I'm the older self-righteous son who follows all the rules and expects special attention because of that. But its not about me at all. Obviously, I need to shed this schizophrenic response to my redemption and get it together. But if I do or don't, God still loves me and would "kill the fatted calf" for me. He celebrates me - whether it be upon my repentence of sin and reconciliation or on a day of pure obedience and self denial. God loves me completely.

Somedays I can receive that love with certainty and it fills me to the marrow with confidence and praise. But other days my schizophrenic spirituality continues and the Father's love for me is just too much to believe more or less accept.

Thank you Lord for giving us the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15: 11-32. Thank you Lord for Henri Nouwen's book on the topic. Thank you God for Rembrandt's painting called Return of the Prodigal Son. Thank you for giving us all these opportunities to get the message about your unconditional love. It's just another example of your generosity and your relentless attempts to offer us your grace.

Praise and thanks to You, my Lord and my God!

The Best Gift I Could Give You

2008-02-16T20:41:00.003-05:00

www.blurty.com

My primary interest in the previous story (Chapter 9 “Give Them an Impression of Who I Am” from the book Bread That is Broken by van Breemen S.J.) is the issue of getting to know Jesus. “You must waste time in prayer” the author writes. To spend time with Jesus is the only way to get to know him.

Hang out with Jesus. Watch him. Watch how me moves, what he says, how he acts. You can examine him in the New Testament or in you own life. You can try to imagine what Jesus did during the hidden years of his life, those non recorded years. You can look at Jesus’ actions in the church. I like to contemplate his face. I probe into his relationship with his mother and his father. The more time you spend with anyone, the better you get to know them.

2 Cor 3:18 How can we reflect what isn’t seen?
Phil 3:7 Why would we want to miss out on a supreme advantage?

I pray Ephesians 1:17 for you. It’s the best gift you can give someone, so…

“I ask God to give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation to you may know him better.”